Fıx you {H.S.}

4| Birthday

I stayed watching the moon until the clock struck 12 and it was officially Saturday 8th June, my dad's birthday.

I had been preparing myself for this day for a while but it still didn't make it any easier when it actually came around. For the last four years we hadn't done anything to celebrate it, and we probably still wouldn't - as a family. But I always remembered it and celebrated it myself.

I moved over to my record player and sifted through my records before finding the one I was looking for and putting it into the player. The song started up and I leant against the wall, trying to prepare myself mentally.

"See the stone set in your eyes. See the thorn twist in your sides. And I wait for you."

"Dad, why this song again?" I whined as my father slipped in his most played record into his old record player and turned the volume up as the tune echoed throughout the house.

"Why this song again?" Dad asked me in mock horror. "Why not?"

I folded my small 9 year old arms and frowned. "It's boring!"

Dad chuckled and picked me up in his arms before spinning me around like he always did. "Have I ever told you that this is my most favourite song?"

"Yes." I said with an eye roll. "Like a thousand times."

Dad smiled. "Have I told you why?"

I brushed a stray piece of hair out of my face. "It was.....something to do with mom?"

"Yeah. It was. It was playing when I first met her. Downtown cafe. She was impatiently waiting for her mango smoothie and I was waiting for my Coke and our orders got mixed up. And she looked at the glass of coke in front of her and then at the mango smoothie in front of me and said-"

"Excuse me but I think you have my order." I finished with a giggle.

"That's right! And what did I say?"

"I'll give it to you for a date." I laughed again.

"And she said "well, fine" and this song started playing and I think the moment I first fell for your mother was when she stood up and took my hand and asked me to dance, telling me we could have our first date right now."

I rested my head on his shoulder, letting the beats from the song relax me. "Why else is it your favourite song?"

"Because it was the song your mother and I danced to at our wedding and the song that was playing at our prom." Dad said, his voice getting softer. "And the song that's playing right now as I'm dancing with you."

"Sleight of hand and twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I wait for you. Without or without you, with or without you."

"That's not why it's your favourite song." I stated, referring to the last line of his sentence.

"No, it is. Because whenever I hear it from now on I'll be remembered of this moment and I'll be happy. Are you happy right now, Heath?"

I closed my eyes and nuzzled my head down further into him and nodded. "Yeah. And you know what? This is my favourite song now too."

I heard dad laugh as he continued to slowly twirl me around. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Because whenever this song will play, I'll have you."

I sunk to the ground, my knees rising up to my chest and my head leaning against the wall. And before I knew it, I was crying.

"Through the storms we reach the shore. You give it all but I want more. And I'm waiting for you. With or without you, with or without you. I can't live with or without you."