I just want to scream, but I can't. I don't want anyone to know how weak I am; curling up in my bed every night remembering the memories, the memories that once made me smile. But tonight's a bad night where I just want to scream and die maybe it will be less painful. Being heart broken hurts, but everyone telling you that you're a moron because you still are heartbroken, kills every little bit of your soul inside. Maybe its just 8 Months ago today, was the best time of my life, when he asked me out. Maybe it's the fact that 5 Months and 7 days ago, he broke up with me, the feeling of everything you've ever known breaking and falling down. I don't know weither it's remembering his amazing cuddles, while laying on a mattress in front of the television watching the most craziest movieswe could find, or remembering how safe he made me feel. I wish I could just go back, go back to where I abolished and killed everything, and just change it. But only if I could. Why? Why did I have to keep how much I loved him inside.
My pillow is dampening from my tears, my blanket is all tangled from my thrashing, my throat is dry and aches from crying and silent screams. But still remembering the little walks to the bus stop or just walking to school. Remembering the way he used to always pull me off the road because he wanted to protect me. But what hurts the most is that he has moved on, and I still can't. I just want to scream, maybe someone will finally understand how much pain I'm in, before it's too late. Before the pain takes me. Before the heartbreak gets too overwhelming. There's nothing I can do now because I was just too late, to say anything.
