Feelings (A Deadly Unna Short Story)

Clarence

 I woke early. There was still night in the room, lingering in the corners. I felt tears running down my face, realising I was thinking of my brother Dumby. I needed to talk to someone, someone who was close to Dumby, someone like Blacky. I decided to get up and go see Blacky.

I snuck out to see Blacky; he was most likely to be at football. I walked to the football field where Blacky was most likely to be and I watched him play. After everyone, except Blacky left I got up and walked to Blacky.

"Hey, Blacky wanna go for a walk." I said.

"Yeah, sure" he said as he held out his hand for me to hold.

I took his hand, it felt hot and sweaty. We walked to the jetty and we just sat there on the edge with our feet dangling into the water. Blacky let go of my hand, we sat there in awkward silence. I lit up a cigarette and broke the silence.

"So Blacky, how's football going" I said as I took a drag from the cigarette.

"Good I guess" he mumbled.

I nodded and we were back to the awkward silence. I didn't know what to say to Blacky, I wanted to talk to him about Dumby but I didn't know how to. I knew Blacky was Dumby's best friend and I knew he was close to Dumby but I didn't know if he would feel comfortable speaking about Dumby. I realised I had finished the cigarette, I looked towards Blacky, he was staring at the water, it was like he wasn't even on earth. I waved my hand in front of his face but he didn't move. I was getting worried that he might have stopped breathing; I didn't know what to do.

I pushed Blacky in the water and he went down with a splash. I laughed slightly, so did he? He then grabbed my leg and pulled me into the water. We laughed and swam for hours, I felt safe when I was with Blacky, I felt like he was the only person in this world who I could trust.

I really wanted to talk to Blacky about Dumby; it would kill me if I didn't.

"Hey, Blacky do you miss Dumby?" I asked, He nodded

"What do you miss most about him?" I continued

He was silent for a moment, but he finally spoke.

"He was a deadly footy player, the best if you ask me" he said smiling a bit

I smiled too, it was great talking to Blacky about Dumby, it makes me feel a whole lot better. We were silent for a few minutes, until Blacky broke the silence.

"You know, Dumby's not really gone" he said looking up at the sky.

"What do you mean?" I asked looking confused.

He sighed and looked at me.

"He not really gone, he's in here" he said pointing to my heart

I had to smile, I looked at my watch and realised it was 6 o'clock.

"I have to go Blacky, its stating to get dark and me mum will be getting worried" I said as I swam to the edge of the jetty.

"Yeah, I better get home too" he said

"I had a great time Blacky" I said with a smile.

"Yeah me too" He replied

We jumped out of the water and looked up at the beautiful night sky. I decided it was time for me to go back home, so I said goodbye to Blacky and ran off home.

When I reached home, all I could think about was Blacky, I soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep, but I was still thinking about Blacky.

It was the early hours of the morning, I slowly got up and walked to the kitchen, Blacky was still on my mind, I just couldn't get him out.

Every time I saw Blacky I felt something deep down in my heart, something I've never felt before. What is this feeling I'm feeling? Is it love? Am I falling for Blacky? If I am, is he falling for me?