Flawless

1//More or Less//LEO

I move around like a fish out of water under the warmth of my covers. I'm a fucking Magikarp, I think to myself. Useless, restless, and different. I look around my room. My eyes have adjusted to the silent darkness around me. The bed is uncomfortable, the walls around me are new, the lights outside my window are bright. I can't sleep, and frankly, I don't want to. This isn't home. Not at all. I get up out of the bed I had lied in silently for the past few hours and move over to the desk I had set up for myself right in front of the window.

It was small but it did the job. To the right of it was a thin bookcase. I turn on the lamp in the middle of the desk, reach over, and grab the novel It's Kind of a Funny Story that I had read 4 times. Putting the book back is probably a good idea because I know I'm just going to read it all night again and get absolutely no sleep. With that, I slide it back in the empty slot where it used to be. I take off my shirt and shorts to make myself more comfortable, which barely did anything.

I look up and all the thoughts I have flood my mind and I stare off into space, thinking about nothing but my whole body staying still. A minute later I snap out of it. I need sleep, yes, but what I need more is my new room. That's all.

I look out the window at the neighborhood road. It's empty with the exception of a few cars rolling by every now and then. I wonder what they're doing out so late? It's, what, 12:30? What could someone be doing out at midnight?

I turn my chair around so I'm facing my room, everything in it in my field of view. My new room until I move out my senior year is right in front of me but I don't want to accept it. I've lived in Idaho all my life and New York is not my home. It never will be my home, and that's a promise.

I have to go to school in tomorrow and I want to make the most of what I have left of summer break, but I don't know how. There's nothing to do since I'm not back in Idaho.

I bend over and unplug my phone from the charger. No new notifications, as expected since it is past midnight and all. I take it and lay back on my bed, my arms holding the phone right up above my head. Playing a game will help me get tired. I play a game on my phone and browse social media for an hour. Nothing. My clock reads 2:12 and I'm still awake. This place is cursed. This whole place is cursed.

I sigh, put in some earbuds, and put on some music to shut my eyes. If I'm not going to sleep, I'm going to spend time doing what I can do until summer break is over. I sing along to the music in my head "I close my eyes, cross my heart, see the world and fall apart." Slowly but surely, I'm fast asleep. Music really is a life saver.