Apart of My Sanity

Chapter 1

It was a chilly January 3rd. Bill sat on his porch writing. He had his headphones in listening to soothing music. He had his long, pale legs stretched and resting on the wooden railing, his notebook lie flat on his lap. He tapped the end of his pen against the brim of the notebook, laying his head back looking up, thinking. He seen how the fluffy clouds bounced in the blue sky, a few birds passing. It was too cold for Bill to be outside in shorts and a t shirt but he didn't mind the cold at all. Until he got sick. Then it was a problem.

"Sweeeety!" Simone called from the doorway to the porch. Bill hadn't heard her. She went over and tapped him gently on the shoulder. Bill jumped a little at the unexpected gesture. "Yeah?"
"Honey it's cold. Come in, I made you a snack."
He had to agree, he was a little hungry and his legs were stinging from the cold. He could use a blanket. He got up and went in the house, sitting on the couch. Simone brought him a plate of pizza rolls and he chuckled a little.
"Thanks mom"
"Your welcome sweetheart. Now if we could have a talk?"
Bill took a bite of his food and put his notebook aside. And looked suspiciously at her.
"Yeah what about?"
"Well...I was thinking. And I thought it might be time to finally tell you. I know I probably should have told you sooner but I didn't know how."
Bill got a little nervous, he was 17 already so whatever she had to tell him was being put off for a long time.
"Okay. What is it?" Bill tried to compose his voice but on the inside he was curious and nervous all at once.
"Okay do you remember when you were little. Around 5?"
"Kind of."
"Do you remember that little boy you used to play with? Tom?"
"Yeah...mom what are you getting at?" He was still lost and nervous.
"Bill...Tom is your brother....he's your twin. And before you get upset there was a good reason he couldn't stay with us."
"Wait pause...what?" Bills eyes widened. "Twin?"
Simone looked sad, she nodded slowly.
Bill looked blankly in front of him. His mind had just sped up by almost a thousand times. Twin. Little Tom was his twin. He remembered playing with the kid multiple times when he was little, but he always was let in by an older man. If he was his brother why didn't he live with them?
"Are you okay? Should I keep going?"
Simone's voice broke him of his thoughts.
He nodded.
"When you and Tom were born we kept you both. Your father and I. Until a few problems came up and your dad had gotten custody over Tom. The court agreed that he could visit and that's why Tom had always come over. Around your 5th birthday Tom had started showing signs of...mental illnesses." Simone stopped and looked at Bill, giving things time to sink in.
Bill just stared. His brows slightly pulled together. She kept going at a slower pace.
"So eventually Tom was taken away from your father and put into a mental health care program for kids. Since then over the years Tom has been moved."
"So where is he now?" Bill blurted for no reason.
"He's being held at the Bethel Institution in Germany." Simone fumbled with a ring she had on the finger. It wasn't a wedding ring.
Bill focused on his breathing so he wouldn't freak out. He had a twin. Who was insane. Wow.
"I'm sorry Bill." He could tell his mother had tears in her eyes.
"No mom it's Okay. You guys did what you had to." He hugged her. She squeezed him gently. "So you understand? I'm not a horrible mother am I?"
"No moma your not. And yes I understand. I'm not mad I'm just a little...confused."
She pulled out 2 plane tickets and gave a small, sad smile. "How would you feel about seeing him?"
Bills stomach jumped with excitement. But then dropped again with nervousness. He had a twin that was so cool! But he was crazy. Bill was a little bit more excited than nervous though.
"Yeah! I wanna re meet him! When are we going?"
"We have to leave my tomorrow night. You should probably pack now."
"Okay"

Bill went upstairs and packed almost his entire wardrobe. He lived in California, going all the way over to Germany. He put his sketch book and a few other sacred things of his in another bag and put them in his closet until tomorrow. He sat down on his bed looking into is mirror that was a few feet away. Would Tom still look like him? Would they look completely different, but still the same? Bill had died his hair a dark black so deep it almost looked blue. So what was Toms hair color? Bill liked makeup and nails...he was a lot more on the feminine side. Was Tom feminine too? So many questions ran through his mind.
"You okay?" Simone asked carefully slightly stepping into his bedroom door that was already cracked.
"Yeah I'm alright." Bill smiled.
"Okay..I'm gonna go pack as well. Mind helping with dinner?"
"No no problem. I will."

Bill lay in his bed still thinking about what his twin would be like. He remembered what Tom looked like at 3 and 4 and a little of him at age 5 before he had stopped showing up at Bills house. He had big brown eyes and short blonde hair. Did he still have blonde hair? Was his eyes still as big and round as they were.
Bill got up and headed over to his mirror for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
He was overthinking. Tom and him looked just alike. They were twins.
He got back into bed and tried to get some sleep. The drive to the airport was a long way from where he lived.
Not to mention the flight he'd be on.