sticks and stones will break my bones but word will ALWAYS hurt me

                                                              Middle School

                                                             Chapter one

          here i am laying on my bed wondering what did i ever do to you. im also wondering why do i still love you. after all the mean and hurtful things you told me. those nights i stayed up crying myself to sleep. on the outside i act like there's nothing wrong and im a happy "normal" teenager. but on the inside i have had thoughts of suicide, i can break down crying any minute, over one stupid non-caring boy. whenever i see you in the hallway you just give that "leave me alone i want nothing to do with you" look. i still dream of u apologizing to me and begging me to take you back. 

                         it all started the first week of thrird quater in 6th grade. when my best friend ,sami, was dating your best friend jack. you and sami became "buddys". whenever i went over to her house she was always texting you, so one day i asked if i could have your number. when sami gave it to me we started telling each other everything. at the time i had a boyfriend. i started texting you more then i texted him. i started developing feelings for you. and i told you and you told me that you had feelings for me also. but i really liked my boyfriend. as the rest of the year went on summer came. thats when i got my phone taken away, but thats another story. so i lost contact of you for the WHOLE summer.

                           when the summer ended and 7th grade began i found out you were dating one of my other best friends kristin. i was confused, you told me you didnt like her. then when you passed me in the hallway i asked you for your number so you gave me it. i started texting you from my yahoo. you were so nice you told me that i was hot and all of these other nice things. next you broke up with kristin. later i found out that it was a dare. you really broke her heart. we still were very close then it was 3rd quater thats when you told me " you think your so hot but your not. you are one of the ugliest girls i have ever seen." i didnt reply. after i got the message i broke down crying. then a month later of name calling like dumb fuck, bitch, retard, and you also told me that you wished i was dead. this one chick on my bus named maddi. she hated me she called me mustach (cause i had a lil peach fuzz), she put a note on my seat that said "you're ugly". when i got home i broke down crying. thats when i thought of commiting sucide. 

                               then you told me that you were sorry. and i was foolish enough to fall into that trap. you told your friends EVERYTHING. you made fun of me behind my back. next ur friend ian and i started being friends. i think i may like him and im pretty sure he liked me back. obviously you didnt want us to be together and you told me that the only reason he was talking to me was because i didnt have any friends. also that he wanted me to stop talking to him. which i did but he tried talking to me and i told him everthing and he said that you lied. i still wonder why is he still friends with you. 

                                there was that one time when you told me that i was soo annoying that my boyfriend was going to dump me. i didnt belive you, but i still had to ask him. i asked him and he told me that not all that was right . the onlything that was right was that he was going to break up with me. so we broke up but we dicided to just tell people that we just dicided to break up. so you and your friend wont make fun of me anymore. but of course that didnt stop you guys.