Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Zaroon 3 March

Aaj Kashaf ko ek naya bhoot chadha tha.

Aam tor par woh khud bhooton ki tarah lagti hai mujhe. Nahi nahi yeh koi mazaak nahi hai. Aksar woh mere pehlu mein hoti hai par mujhe yeh ehsas bhi nahi hota ki koi hai mere saath mere kamre mein. Kabhi woh ghar me bhi hai ya nahi mujhe nahi pata chalta. Aur uske na jaane life mein kaise secrets hai. Agar kuch pucho to jawab ek hi milta hai

"Yeh tumhara nahi mera masla hai."

aur humesha mera bhi jawab ek hi hota hai

"Toh hum kya alag hai?"

Aur aisi humari saari conversations isi baat pe khatam hoti hai

"Kuch cheezein personal hoti. Humne shaadi ki hai magar iska hargiz yeh matlab nahi hum ek dusre ke sar par baith jaye. "

Kya karoon main iska? 

Khair mudde pe ata hoon. Aaj kehne lagi ki hume Asmara aur Osama ko ghar par khaane ke liye invitation dena chahiye woh bhi sunday ko.

"Sunday? Are yaar Kashaf woh bas ek hi toh din hota hai jab hum kuch lamhe saath guzar paate hai aur kuch relax kar paate hai. "

"Agar tum bhool rahe ho toh main tumhe yaad dila doon ki woh hafte ki meri bhi vahid chutti hoti hai."

"Toh tum use kharab karne ke chakkar me kyun ho?"

"Zara bhi..zara bhi sharam nahi aati na tumhe?"

Usne mere taraf ate huye kaha.

"Bhala mujhe kyun sharam aane lagi? Aur waise bhi koi occasion ho toh samajh ata hai. Yeh koi matlab hua?"

"Zaroon..Kya tum unke ghar jaane ke liye special occasions ka intezaar karte ho? Tumne unke na jaane kitne sundays mondays aur na jaane kaun kaun se din barbad kiye hai."

Usne kuch chillate huye kaha. Uske seriousness ko realise karte huye maine kuch alternatives dene ka faisla kiya.

"Ek kaam karte hai na hum sab ekhatte saturday ko dinner par bahar chalte hai.Isse humara sunday bhi bah jayega aur tumhari demand bhi puri ho jayegi."

"Ji nahi hum sunday ko unhe ghar par hi bulayenge."

Kehte hi woh mere pas aakar baith gayi. 

"Iss tarah kya hum unka ek sunday barbad nahi karenge?"

Aur ab kuch dheemi awaaz me kaha

"I am sure woh tumhare tarah sunday ko lekar obsessed nahi hai.Zaroon i know ki tum mere saath apna zyada se zyada waqt spend karna chahte ho magar humare life mein aur bhi important relations jin par hume tavakku dene ki zaroorat hai. Unhe sach me humara yeh gesture bohot pasand ayega. Yaad hai na kaise unhone humari madat ki hai. Wo tumhare family members ki tarah humare saath khade the aur.."

"Aur unhone ne hi mujhe tumhare ghar khidki se chadhwaya tha."

MAine haste huye usse kaha aur usne bhi ek halki muskaan di.

"Main abhi unhe call karta hoon."

Toh ab madam ko mezbaani ka shauk utha hai. Khair sahi hi hai. Shaadi ke baad toh unse mulakat bhi nahi huyi hai. Isi bahane hum ekhatte kuch waqt guzar lenge.Aur Ye biwiyaan na ho na toh kasam se bohot saari cheezein bikhar jayengi. Aur sach toh kaha hai usne ki maine bina realization ke, aur apni boriat door karne ke liye na jaane kitne unki chuttiyaan apni presence se barbad ki hai.Ab shayad main unka haal feel kar sakta hoon. Shayad kbhi kabhi unhe mujh par gussa bhi ata ho.Par unhone toh kabhi mujhe yeh ehsas toh nahi hone diya. Wo sach me meri family ki tarah hi hai. Aur isse pehle ki main unhe bhi apne one track mind ke karan kho doon mujhe life mein kuch balance lana hoga.