Suffer in Silence

My mother always told me I was beautiful,  but mothers are obligated to say that.  Mamma and Pappa always had our best interest in mind, this was the root of all their acts.  Mamma could tell at a young age that my twin sister would be the more popular one out of the two of us. Boy,  was she right.

Let me introduce myself first.  My name is Joy Anne Kennedy. I have an identical twin sister Faith Jessica Kennedy.  I'm 13 years old and I am in grade 8 and  I go to Oakridge Falls Public School. 

In my family its just the four of us,  quite a picture frame family, from the outside that is.  Mamma and Pappa are always fighting.  When the fighting ends,  I can hear mamma in her room sobbing and the front door slam.  Pappa always leaves when they fight,  not one to talk it out.

I go to the living room to distract myself from the cloud of sadness that is in the room next to me. I find Faith watching a TV in the living room.  "Who are they kicking off today?",  I say as I sit next to her. " I hope Jenna.  No one in the house likes her".  I wish I could vote people out of our house. 

I watch with faith until my eyes become heavy.  " I'm going to go to sleep,  I'll see you tomorrow",  I say. " Love ya,  night", Faith replies. 

I trudge to my room and flop on NY bed.  I listen for mamma,  I think she has fallen asleep.  This seems to be the normal routine,  they fight Pappa leaves, mom cries, she sleeps,  dad comes home drunk.

Pappa spends his evenings at the bars until he builds up enough courage to hop back in his car and make the 15 minute drive home.

What and idiot.

SLAM

I guess pappas home and I know what will come next. 

I pretend to be asleep,  slowing down my breathing as the steps come closer.

step step step

I pray he goes to his room, to apologize to mom,  to be with her,  but I know he never will.

I am his drunken love,  his 13 year old little girl.

My door creaks open and I know what is going to come next.

Silence.

I hear nothing but his breath.

"Daddy's sorry baby girl,  I love you", are his words before he pulls back my covers.