Hard to Get (Kellic)

Chapter 31| Damage Control! Fuck I'm High

Sorry this took so long. I had finals (I only have 4 classes per term) and I literally went to a protest every weekend for the past 3 weeks. I've also been having terrible family problems... oh and I'm lazy. Btw it's probably not well edited

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Vic's POV

"Fuckin- don't leave!" I yelled at the TV, as Rachel began to board the plane. I had watched this episode of Friends a number of times, but I guess I was more caught in the moment this time. "Stupid fucking bimbo!"

Maybe it was the Coke.

I grabbed my remote and harshly pressed the off button, tossing it to the other side of the room. I grazed my hand around the table, trying to find the beer bottle that still had some alcohol left in it. My curtains were drawn and my lights were off, leaving my living room very dark even though it was 3 in the afternoon. I finally found the bottle that I could still drink from and picked it up, chugging the rest of it and putting it with the others. I was making quite the collection.

I briefly thought about possibly throwing them away, but I couldn't be bothered to moved from the couch. I still had a few bottles that needed to be consumed on the table, do I decided to start drinking them before I moved at all.

I had only gotten up from the coach to use the bathroom, but besides that I had been here since I found my way back home from the club. I've consumed drink after drink, line after line, and cigarette after cigarette since then. Every time I started to sober up the image of Kellin with tears running down his cheeks and his jeans down to his knees burned into my mind. I'd rather kill myself with alcohol and coke than think about him in pain ever again.

I took the bottle opener, popping the cap, before bringing it to my lips and talking some big gulps, only stopping when I heard the faint meow of Pickles behind one of the doors. I couldn't remember which room I put him in after I gave him some food this morning. I think I gave him some food at least.

"Shut it you fugly cat!"

I took another gulp of my beer, tears springing from my eyes. I loved that cat, but it just reminded me so much of Kellin. The last thing I could think about was him. I never knew another human being could trigger so many emotions. I was swimming in sadness, drowning in my regret, and had already sunk to the bottom of my guilt. The one thing no one tells you about break ups though is the fear you'll feel, fear yourself and your future. But to mask it all I just looked angry. I was to afraid to express my sadness. I could deal with my anger.

I dragged my hands down my face, before quickly downing the remains of the beer and slamming the glass bottle against the table. I then reached over and started to create another line for me to take. I craved it. The coke had been poured onto the table already, so I stated to cut a line with the broken glass bottle. It was messy, but I couldn't care less. I picked up the straw I had next to the pile and put it to the tip of the line. I snorted it quickly, throwing the straw down and wiping my nose quickly.

I shivered a little, before letting out a deep breath. I really needed to fix things with Kellin. I mean, of course I could do that. All I had to do was talk to him. I could fix it all.

He was my whole world. You can't just destroy an entire world. You can fix it. I can fix it. I'm going to fix it.

Where's my coat?

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This is stupid. I am stupid. I'm fucking crazy. Kellin hates me. No, he still loves me. We can talk.