The Boy

There was a girl who obsessed over a boy just because he was her first love. She didn't understand how it worked; no one told her about it. Though she knew how it started.

For years, people acted so unkindly to her. She never noticed this at first, it was totally indirect, but she would soon realise it years after. However, the boy had treated her differently. He had talked to her the way she wanted to be talked to. He had played with her the way she wanted to play. He was the first person she ever realised to have treated her in that way, and that was how she fell.

They would talk almost everyday. He would sit next to her, disturb a couple of students who sat around her, and then talked to her about the little stuff. She liked their small talks, even if they weren't talking about anything important. She liked how he would sit near her, even if there was another person there -- because he would cramp his butt into the chair just to be next to her. She just liked everything about him, and there wasn't anything else that would make her happier than to be with him.

But everything changed a year later.

He wasn't in her class anymore, and she understood why. He had never been good in his studies, and his grades weren't meeting the expectations to be in the elite class. It was sad for her part because she wouldn't see him more often, but even sadder when she realised she wouldn't hear his voice more often as well. She wanted to be with him, because when she was with him, the world disappeared and there was just them. All she could hear was his voice, and it was the only sound she ever wanted to listen to for the rest of her life. He was beautiful to her, and she wanted him to know that. She wanted him.

But what she didn't realise was that he didn't feel the same way about her.

After school, she would always meet up with him at the bus stop. They would play like usual, but not so much as his bus would always arrive a little bit too early for her liking. They would talk, but their conversations became shorter and shorter at each passing day. She missed him, and there wasn't a night where she wouldn't stay awake and dream about him. Oh, she liked him very much, this she knew. She wanted to tell the whole world what he meant to her, what he made her feel like. She wanted him to know about it.

And that was her ultimate mistake.

One day, she was talking to one of his friends. She felt as if she needed to be closer to his friends in order to understand what kind of people he would hang out with. As they went deeper into the conversation, she accidentally slipped out about her admiration toward the boy she liked. She didn't think much of it at the time, but she would later realise that it was better if she had kept her mouth shut.

A few days later, she realised how distant he had become toward her. She was confused, scared, and curious at the same time. Had she done something wrong to him? Was there a problem he was dealing with?

She wanted to confront him, but every time she did, he'd turn away. Hurt was the first thing she felt, and then sadness, and finally confusion. It had to be something about her. She had to have done something to upset him.

His friend(the one she talked to the other day) approached her. He told her that he had told the boy she liked about her crush on him. Feeling shocked, anger, and betrayed at the same time, she almost screamed at him for even doing such a thing. It wasn't later when she realised that the boy had a crush on her, and that he wanted her just as bad as she wanted to be with his friend. Having been utterly dismayed, she ran off and cried. Her life was soon crumbling down as she dreaded over the fact that the one person who treated her right would never even look at her again.

She kept up all night, scrolling through his Facebook page. She sent him messages, wishing for him to reply. All he said to her was, "Don't disturb me." Oh, she was hurt, yet she continued to send him messages anyway in hopes that he would see how much she cared about him. She never thought it would be this hard. Her first love was a failure, and it shocked her how much pain she could feel in one night. In fact, her pain never subsided for almost every night. She had no one to seek out to, no one to vent, and she was completely left alone to deal with this crap. This was the worst hole she had ever fallen into, and she couldn't see any way out of it.

In order to move on, she tried avoiding him. For two whole years, she forced herself not to look at his way. At the time, he had found himself a girlfriend. Watching them being fond of each other's company made her feel sick. Everytime she saw them together, all she wanted to do was to go home and cry about it. She was weak, she knew, but it was tough for her to just forget about her first love. Her heart couldn't just let go of the feeling, and the memories, and him.

She couldn't take it anymore. She knew she had to make this pain go away. It was eating her from the inside. Soon, she was finding herself going back to her mum's place. She left her dad after knowing the truth(which is a different story for another day) and decided to start a new life. At the age of 15, she started to make her own decisions. She made some new friends and forgot about the old ones. She experienced a lot as a 15-year-old. Some bad ones, but there were good ones as well. There were regrets, there were more heartbreaks, but it was all worth it. It built her into the person she was today. She even scored a good result in her end-term examination, which had made everyone in her family, and some friends as well, to be very proud of her. She had changed for the good, and she finally was able to manage her own life.

And about that boy? He was long gone. She didn't think of him in that way anymore, though she would miss having to feel those things toward him. They felt good once, and they still feel good as she reminisce them today. But they were old feelings, and she needed to make space for new things. So, she moved on from that boy, and she was okay.

She was finally going to be okay.

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A/N: Do you like reading this? Then continue on to the next part of the story! "You" is the continuation to the failed love stories of one girl, and the experiences that she gained to shape her into the woman she is today. Read now and enjoy!