Abused mate

.002

(EDITED)

                  "Don't listen to the haters."
-UNKNOWN

A/N

Another chapter, I hope you like it. Edited as best (as I can) so have its mistakes sorry!! Enjoy......... go read.

-A
_

I sit there in my room on the floor holding a cold, wet rag on my cuts.

"I mean you did good, but you could have did better" they (the voices in her head) say.

"I sorry" I whisper.

"Well I mean you will do better next time, cause I'll be controlling you".

I was about to ask 'them' a question as Clairity rushes into my room with an first aid kit.

"I'm sorry" I whisper to her with as tear rolls down my cheek.

"They told you to do it?" She asked know about 'them'.

"I couldn't con....control them" I whimpered out.

Clairity knows knows about everything that goes on in my life. She knows my secrets, what really happens behind close doors, she knows I hate myself but she loves me and stay with me like a best friends should.

She looks at me and nods giving me 'it's okay' look as she reaches for my arm. I put my arm in her care, as she takes off the wet rag and look at the cuts.

She will leave you.

She doesn't care about someone like you, I mean why would she.

She only feels bad for you.

I shake the thought out of my head as she pours alcohol on it makes me hiss and whine.  "I'm sorry" she whispers not stopping and she goes to digs through kit she brought and finds the wraps. I look up at her see her full attention is on helping me.

"Thanks you, Clairity, for everything" I say making her turn her head giving me a sad smile and nodding.

I know she is upset, seeing as in broke my promise.
Last time this happened it wasn't this bad. She didn't make me promise that I won't cut again, knowing that I can't they make me. One thing I love about her is she understands me, she made me promise that it won't get any worse. I broke that promise.

She was finally done with everything and put the stuff anyway. Clairity just sits there look at me.

"You didn't take your meds did you?" She said.

My antidepressants meds, 'they' told me not to. So I listened

I looked down at my bandage. Of course I didn't answer knowing that she would get mad.

"Aniya, answer me" she yelled cause me to jump.

"No" I whispered.

"Why, this isn't a joke anymore?" She says walking into my bathroom digging around looking for the bottle that's holding my meds. "Where are they?" She said to me.

"I couldn't get them. Danyae wouldn't let me" I lied.

She knew I was lying, but did want to push it. "Oh, I'm sorry" she said. "I'm just happy you are okay" she smiled. "Let's talk about something else" she walked and sat by me.

"Well how was you run yesterday, have you gotten used to shifting yet?" I smiled and asked.

"Hell no, it hurts at first" she said causing me to laugh. "But guess what, I'm so mad" she crossed her arms and said.

I bit my lip trying not to laugh. "What can it be?" I asked.
With Clairity you never know.

"I found my mate" she said smiling.

I jump on her screaming shaking the life out of her "oh my god, Clair how could you not tell me. Who is he? Come on tell me.....don't just keep it in".

She is kicking, whiling holding her stomach laugh till her face are red and gasping for air. 

"Seriously though who is it?" I asked.

"Well he is really cute and nice when you met him. One thing that we both are going to hate is......"

"Is what" I asked again.

If she only would tell who he is. She is my best friend it's not like I will get mad.

"It's Sam" she said with a sad expression on her face.

What? Sam!! Really out of all people it had to me him. My best friends mate is my ex, he is a douchebag. He uses girls and leaves them in bed to cry and after they realize that he really did just take their virginity and they won't ever get it back. Also that's what he did to me, ever since then I've hated him.

"Oh, so how do you feel about that?" I asked looking at her. 

She looks at me and say "well I mean, he is my mate and I can't change that. He really is sweet though, I meet his parents and they are really nice and loving people. I already know you aren't happy but-". I interrupted her by saying "Clairity I am happy for you, maybe he has changed but I honestly don't think he has. I just don't want you to get hurt".

"Well I think he has changed and I'm not going to get hurt"  she said while smiling.

"So do you love him?" I asked her.

"I don't think, not yet of course. I think I'll grow to love him. But let's talk about you. Have you gave any thought about you think is your mate?" She smiled and said.

A mate? I don't think I need a mate. I don't think he will love me, who ever he is. I didn't date anyone so honestly I don't think I will know him if I have a mate.

"Clair, you know how I feel about that issue" I whisper looking down at my hands.

"Aniya, you will have a mate. He will treat you good okay, not everybody is like your crazy family. And don't think for one second that you aren't good enough to have one" she say grabbing my hands and giving them a squeeze.

She is wrong.

You don't deserve one.

He is going to reject you.

Because no one can love you.

A tear roles down my cheek.

Clairity see that and gives me a hug.

" Aniya, What are they saying?" She asked knowing 'they' were speaking to me.

"They say I can't have one" I sobbed and said into her arms.
They say I don't deserve one, and he is going to reject me because no one can love me. Am I a bad person? Clair what is wrong with me?" I asked.

"hey look at me" I do as I was told and look.

"you are a beautiful girl. You are going to find a mate, and be happy" she say with a smile.

"Thanks" I whisper.

"Okay I'm done cry with you" she said wiping the tear off her face.
"Aniya, my best friend, we are are going to the club so let's get dolled up" she yells causing me to laugh like a moron even if it wasn't funny. All I can say is that I love you.

So we both get up and get ready to leave and probable come home wasted.

So when I published this chapter last time it was terrible and probably till is, but I tried my best to edit it. So I hope this time it's better.

Bye munchkins----- till next time.