The Farm Boy and The Lady

Chapter 1: Into the Woods

Amara POV

When I was a little girl my mother tried to mold me into the perfect lady. Of course she would. She loves me and so she wants me to be the very best I can be. Her definition of "best" being the polar opposite of mine.

Her idea of "best" hinges entirely on reputation. The only thing that matters to her is how you appear to the perception of others. Someone else's opinion defines who you are.

In some ways I suppose that is true. Opportunities present themselves to people who are deemed worthy. However the view we present to others is narrow. We only let them see the good things. The shiny surface that hides the tarnish and rust that gives us character.

It does not seem right to me. Why should I hide who I am? The people she is so desperate for me to please are the same people who try so hard to find a flaw in me because I am nothing more than a potential threat to their own opportunities. They will scrutinize me and pass their final judgment upon me the moment my silk slippered toe steps out of line. They will never accept me for who I am. And why should I want to be accepted by people such as that? I voice these opinions to my mother of course and she laughs me off. My concerns are not valid she says.

"You are a child darling. You are to young to understand these things. One day when you are older and you have children of your own, then you will understand and you will be grateful for all the things I make you learn because those things will catch you a good husband and he will provide a good life for you." Then she sighs and walks away with her expensive skirts rustling gently across the marble floors as she goes.

But would it be a good life? Yes, I would have a wealth of material things and I would never want for food or clothing or shelter and I know I should be grateful for that. There are so many who cannot even dream of having that. But would I be happy in my gilded cage? Why should I sacrifice my emotions for a hollow existence? Because everyone else said I should? That was never a good enough reason for me.

I rebelled in my own little ways. I learned. I took advantage of the education given to me by the prestigious tutors my mother hired. They were the very best in languages, literature, drawing, dancing, and everything else she thought I would require to embody the pinnacle of feminine perfection. I learned how to use those skills to my advantage.To preserve my freedom. I appeared to be the model daughter so my mother could refuse me nothing. I learned how to manipulate a situation in my favor.

In my spare time, between my womanly studies, I stole books from my fathers personal library on topics ranging from science and politics to history and philosophy. I knew basic mathematics in application to running a household and I used it to comb through my fathers business ledgers and expand my knowledge.

I think he secretly knows of my endeavors. He sees me for the headstrong, opinionated, free spirited girl that I am and he loves me more for it. At least I hope he does. I like to think that he is proud of my intelligence and the way I handle mother.

I play the game to maintain my freedom and the right to choose my own path. This is the easiest way to find a suitor worthy of me. I can test the gentleman any way I like and can not be faulted for it as long as I am subtle. I am cordial and well mannered, perfectly dainty and pretty and sweet and no one is the wiser. My mother feels she should protect my interests and would never deign to force a marriage on my delicate disposition. In behaving myself I keep myself safe. If I grew up flaunting my true personality she would have felt no remorse in forcing me to marry any of the suitors she chose. She would have seen it as a way to tame me and save me from destruction and destitution. I'm sure she'd have pawned me off on the first man with a respectable fortune to come knocking. I probably would have ended up with a heavy handed misogynistic brute for a husband. This way I can find a man who makes my mother happy and deserves to see me for who I really am. If such a man exists. .