an ounce of hope ; vkook

part one ;

jungkook took the blade to his wrist, yet again. cutting was his outlet, his release. he knew taehyung hated it but at the moment jungkook didn't care. his mom was dying while suffering from alzheimer's, and he didn't want to be bothered by knowing she might die, so he hurt himself instead. blood covered his marble countertop but he left it and headed to bed.

soon enough, his bedroom window opened and taehyung bursted through while jungkook was asleep. the first thing he noticed was a cold jungkook with blood soaked sheets and no blanket to cover him up. tae immediately frowned as he realized what happened and mentally cursed at himself for not taking more care of jungkook. he let jungkook sleep and put a blanket on him, then looked in the bathroom for band aids, but of course the only thing he saw was blood. he cleaned it up with tissues and water while crying. taehyung cried a lot when he saw jungkook sad, however this was the first time he experienced it first hand. after he cleaned up he got bandages for jungkooks arms, and checked his thighs to see if they were needed there too. they were.

taehyung carefully slid his shorts up just enough to expose his milky skin and started covering them. out of nowhere, he kissed jungkooks scars as tears fell down his face. he finished covering jungkooks skin and held him in bed, wrapping his arms around jungkook and kissing him, even though jungkook wouldn't know anyways.

"damnit jungkook, w-why do you hurt yourself? don't you realize you're so much more than what you think of yourself?" he breathed heavily in between sobs. taehyung knew jungkook wasn't listening, but he was so frustrated and upset he didn't care. he just wanted him to know how important he was to him. he cried more and more until he soaked jungkooks tee shirt in tears. while he cried, a tear fell onto jungkooks wrist and he woke up, feeling the sting on his skin through the bandaid.

"taehyung why are you here? you-"
jungkook noticed everything taehyung did for him that night and thought for a long time before speaking. taehyung just hugged him and kissed his back and neck, which made jungkook regret everything he did. but jungkook thought some more. what if taehyung doesn't really care about me? what if he just feels bad and knows i'll kill myself if he leaves. what if he just leaves after tonight? maybe this was his way of kindly saying goodbye.

it was too often that jungkook had these thoughts.

"jungkook what are you thinking about?" taehyung asked him.

"im thinking about why you care enough to do any of this." jungkook replied.

"you're my source of happiness jungkook. don't you know this? i know it's hard with you're mom being sick and having alzheimers, and it makes me sad too. but i wish you'd stop hurting yourself. if you can't do it for her, then do it for me. please jungkook, i can't deal with seeing you like this. it shatters my heart." taehyung almost sounded angry, but he wasn't.

jungkook turned towards taehyung so they were face to face.
"but what if you leave me? i hurt myself so i can distract myself from the fact that i hurt others. you just wouldn't understand." jungkook began crying too. taehyung wiped away every tear that fell, and kissed his nose and lips constantly, which almost made jungkook feel bad about hurting taehyungs aching heart.

"stop telling yourself that, would you? i'd never. you mean way too much to me. if i didn't care about you, would i have come over because you didn't respond to my message? i didn't want you to do something you'd regret, so i tried to stop you. because i care and i love you." taehyung had to stop himself from going on, because he could've gone on and on about everything he loved about jungkook.

"im- im sorry taehyung. i really can't help it, ill try to stop for you." jungkook choked on his words.

"im glad baby. let's get some rest." taehyung was finally satisfied with his boyfriend.

the two cuddled and chatted about only god knows what, and eventually jungkook fell asleep on taehyungs chest. however, the older boy stayed awake observing jungkook. the way his hair shaped his face, the cute acne scars jungkook was trying to get rid of from his teenage years, his breathing pattern, and his hands. taehyung held his hands every night when they went to sleep, and tonight was no different.

eventually, taehyung too fell asleep with jungkook and they woke up to jungkooks phone ringing.

the call was from his mom's nurse.
the one responsible for her life.
the woman jungkook ignored most in his life.
because calls from her,
never meant good news.

//

aye lol first chapter is uP it wasn't good im sorry but this book bout to be lit !! also i know everything is lowercase lol it's because i'm writing on my phone, don't mind any other errors.
vote and comment if you feel like it ha
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