decoding the boys ✔️

55 | pinipili

Maybe I knew since day one, since that day I met Racel at the bar, that all of my choices, all of my decisions, would lead to this. Lhyle warned me, Ahron warned me, everyone did. Heck, even I did-over and over-but nothing could still prepare me for this day. Kasi knowing and experiencing are two different things. Now that everything came full circle, not even the knowledge could save me from the onslaught of fear, anxiety and anguish of what was to come.

Hindi pa siya nagsasalita but I could see the gears of his mind whirring beneath his eyes as he put two and two together. Halos naririnig ko na rin ang mga iniisip niya. The accusations, confusion, disappointment, shock. Hurt. Betrayal. No doubt I was a traitor now in his head.

The tension was tangible, solidifying my belief that it was all over. No amount of apology could excuse my lies.

"Are you with Gutierez just now?" his clipped question came. No dilly-dallying. A straightforward question.

I winced at the ice in his voice.

For a cowardly moment, I was tempted to lie. But no. I'd had enough of those. Sobra na.

"Nakita kayo ng kaklase ni Jacob kanina," supplied Kuya Andrei in a calm, composed tone. "Kasama nila si Bautista."

"So totoo nga?" asked Gian from the sides, disbelief coloring his expression.

I clenched my shaking fists. Heto na. I had to be strong. I had to take a firm stance and make them understand.

I nodded to answer their question. Pinag-aaralan ko ang rehistro ng bawat emosyon sa mukha niya dahil gusto kong malaman kung paanong approach ang gagawin ko.

I couldn't keep my eyes away from Kuya Jacob. His sharp stare kept me rooted on the floor. Dati, kada iniisip ko kung pano mangyayari 'tong araw na ito, akala ko hindi ko siya makakayang tingnan sa mata. But now it was the only thing I could do.

"Kayo ba?" came the next hard question of my brother in a very cutting voice. Nakikita ko ang pagpipigil sa mukha niya.

I nodded again. "Oo, Kuya," I said, muntik pang mautal.

Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko at nanghihina ang buong katawan ko. Para akong nahihilo sa atensyon na binibigay nila.

Napamura si Kuya at mas naging matalim ang mga tingin niya sa 'kin. Bago pa siya makaikot at makaalis, tumakbo ako at hinatak ko ang braso niya.

"Kuya, let me explain," I said in panic. "Makinig ka muna sa 'kin, please!"

In a swift movement, he spun around and faced me squarely. He retracted his hand away, as though my very touch was poison to him.

"What's there to explain, huh?" Kuya Jacob snapped. "Simula pa lang, sinabihan na kita. Avoid those assholes and what did you do? You fucking dated that bastard behind my back. At si Gutierez pa talaga? Fuck. Sige nga. Bakit hindi mo sinabi? You acted like nothing is wrong habang may tinatago ka pala?" His cold, feelingless laugh reached my ears. "I won't even ask how it started. It must be that bloody Youth Camp. I knew nothing good would come out of that the moment I saw that stupid photo."

Tears welled up in my eyes. Halos sumabog ako sa sobrang dami ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang uunahin ko. Nahihirapan din akong kontrolin ang panginginig ng katawan ko.

But I was determined to fight for my love. I was done running away. I couldn't bear to give up now and let Racel down. Not him. Not even Kuya Jacob. I didn't want to lose anyone if I could help it at willing akong gawin ang lahat para lang mapaintindi sa kanila ang lahat. Na nagkamali lang sila sa pagkakakilala kay Racel, na nadala lang ng misunderstandings ang lahat.