For the Boy Who Made me Fall in Love with Myself Again
It's not that I don't want you.
When you're standing near me
I don't have to remember
to wear my confidence,
because the way you look at me
is enough to believe that
I will always be as wanted as you make me feel.
Your sense of humor makes my stomach flip
and I find myself looking for you always
It's not that I don't think I could love you.
I've never stopped smiling since I've met you,
and somehow,
you've shown me how to be in love with life again.
I think maybe some of that feeling
is starting to find its way to you.
Something blossoms in my heart
every time you look at me.
It's not that I don't think I could need you.
Your voice is the one of the few I wouldn't mind listening to for hours
And the way you glance at me when you think I'm not looking is something I could get used to.
But I'm afraid to.
Because I loved someone once.
I wanted every piece of him,
and needed every part of him, especially when he was gone.
He stands in all my shadows.
Last night,
you teased me about kissing you and all I saw was a flashback of long summer nights with his hands pressed into my back.
When you held my arm
to pull me back to you,
all I could see was him begging me not to leave the second time he told me he was still in love with Girl X.
When my head was against your shoulder,
all I could remember was sitting in the hallway after class,
leaning against the lockers,
not realizing he was texting someone else.
But when you made me fall in love with life for the first time in forever,
something changed.
Your smile didn't remind me of him,
and your sense of humor only reminds me of you.
When we were talking yesterday,
we walked right past him,
and I didn't even think of him.
Maybe he still haunts my nightmares, but sometimes,
you star center stage in my dreams.
You told me you'd wait a year
for a girl with a heart like mine.
All I want to say is,
keep waiting.
