Chaiya being extra! Guys, listen to Back 2 U by NCT 127. Yes, it's my inspiration when I wrote this one. It is truly heartbreaking when the one whom you trusted, hurts you in return. (Based on my experience, too. Hahahaha!) Anyways, enjoy!
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"Ten? Where are you? It's getting late, babe."
"I will not sleep. Not until you're here, okay?"
"Call me when you're within the area, so I can welcome you outside."
"Take care, I love you!"
I can't sleep. My mind is still high. Hyped in a negative way. His words kept on replaying in my head. Liar. Asshole. Traitor. You want me to call you because you're afraid that I might caught you in the act of cheating. Tsss. Staring at the ceiling, a tear escaped from my eye. I laugh silently. A bitter one. Even my tears betrayed me.
I slowly entered the house knowing that the members are sleeping soundly. It's not super late but because they're promoting, I know they are tired. I just went home from practice. Not because I debuted already, I will stop from practicing. Nope. Idols should not have that kind of mentality. If not for a call from Taeyong, I will not notice the time. He said he will wait for me. But I forgot to call him when I'm nearing, afraid that he might be sleeping already. After I locked the door, I hear giggling and rustling sounds from the kitchen. Thump. Thump. Thump. Are there any intruders in the house? I tightened my grip on my bag and the water bottle I'm holding while tiptoeing to the kitchen. The moment I reach the area, I feel like I'm going to drop on my knees. Now, I'm clenching my chest, I almost forgot how to breathe. My vision is getting blury. I feel something heavy on my shoulders. Unnecessary noise threatens to come out my mouth. Step back 1. 2. 3. Until I reach the door and locked it behind once I'm out again. In other words, my world crumbled down. I wiped my cheeks wet from tears. Inhale. Exhale. I reached out for my phone and dialed his number.
"Babe? Where are you?" I nearly choked when I heard 'babe'.
"I am already at the door. No need to go out. I forgot to call you."
"O-oh? You're here already?" I can sense him panicking. I hummed and drop the call. I hold the doorknob and breathe deep once more. I enter the house again and make sure there's no trace of hurt in me. Taeyong is not in the kitchen anymore. Guess he ran back to his room. Good. Because I don't know what will I do if I see him there.
"That was way too fast, Lee Taeyong, I didn't know you're a runner." I silently told myself.
"H-hyung... You just got home?" Stuttering eh? No. I was here not too long ago. I nod and placed my bottled water in the kitchen counter. Disgusting. He was still standing there beside the fridge. I walked past by him but before I can reach the staircase...
"Jaehyun, did you know that I TRUSTED you?" I said and turned to look at him. Is he confused? Tssss. You are not a good actor, my dongsaeng. I smiled at him and said 'goodnight'. I passed by Taeyong's room and was about to reach my room when I hear his door opened. Shit. I just hope it's not him.
"Babe? Hey. I'm sorry, I fell asleep." He said as he hugged me from behind. Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. Me. I let go of the hug and turned to look at him. I smiled. Yes, I'm such a good pretender. You can all give me an award later. Have I done something wrong? Am I not giving you attention? Are you getting tired of me? Am I not good enough? Questions flooding my mind but not dared to ask him.
"I told you it's okay. I know you had a long day. Go back to your room now and sleep..."
"You too, Jaehyun. I know both of you had a tiring day." I said as I turned to face him. He said goodnight and lowered his head as he walk to his room. I turn to face Taeyong again. I want to shout at him. Hit him. Curse him. My heart is aching. Before my tears form in my eyes, I said goodnight and turn my back on him. I don't care about his expression, all I want is to be far from him. He is suffocating me.
