Scars To Your Beautiful -L.S

Chapter 1

WARNING; self-harm, anxiety, anorexia.

Scars to your beautiful:

Chapter 1:

7AM on a Monday morning, Louis Tomlinson woke up with a stomach ache and a sinking heart. It was only half way into the school year and he already wanted to die. Of course, everyone knew freshmen year would be hard but Louis didn't know it'd be this hard trying to fit in. It shouldn't matter to him, a lot of people didn't care about popularity but he did.

He always wanted to be noticed and the center of attention. It was something he's never gotten and he wanted this year to change. The sixteen year old didn't know what to do to be noticed, in a positive way of course. Maybe if he was prettier or skinnier, people would notice him. He's seen girls stick thin that got attention and it made him think that maybe that's what he needed to do. Maybe if he even acted like he was straight to get attention from anyone. Even a girl.

That's how desperate he was. He wanted to be praised, called handsome, be known. Maybe it's why he shoves his hand down his throat each time he's done eating. Maybe it's why his stomach was starting to cave in now but he was prouder. He was proud of something so wrong.

Nobody noticed though.

His family saw only smiles on his face. A happy Louis. Even if they did notice he was sad, they wouldn't care. Nobody would. This day and age, or even before this day and age, people assumed guys were strong and sucked it up. They would never suspect a sixteen year old boy starving himself to fit in the wrong crowd. It was honestly sad how not even his friends noticed either.

The people who claimed to care about him the most seemed like they didn't care not one bit. It was fine though because Louis thought he was doing the right thing. Nobody told him it was wrong, so it must be okay. He was also afraid. Afraid of coming out about his sexuality that he wasn't so sure of himself. He thought he was sure even at the age of ten until his father scolded him for even talking about another boy in that way. He had his first beating at age eleven for that exact reason. He had tried to force himself to like girls but nothing worked.

With a sigh, the teens head turned toward the clock on the side of his bed. It's already been twenty minutes since he's waited here but that's okay.

Anything to get attention, right?

His blue eyes adverted toward the white ceiling, hands clutching the white sheets. He didn't want to go to school anymore. He wanted to stay under his covers and die, as sad as it sounds. One thing, one person more like, kept him motivated. Harry Styles. Of course, one of the popular boys that Louis eyed once in a while. He tried to stop, telling himself that looking at a guy that way was wrong but he couldn't help but admire. Captain of the football team, beautiful face, broad body, popularity. It wasn't wrong of him to admire once in a while though, right? At times, he would catch Harry looking at him too though and smile, even a little wave. It made him happy that Harry of all people noticed him and yes, maybe that's why he just got out of bed to shower and get changed.

Though, he didn't get out of the shower until it was eight o'clock with his brother banging on the door, telling him to get out before he busts the door down and stab the boy. Louis listened, like always. He got dress in a long sleeved black tee with some skinny jeans and of course his vans. His clothes were staring to get baggy on him but he was proud of that. "Beauty is pain." He murmured to himself in the mirror while slowly tugging his shirt up, staring at his ribs that were faintly showing. "Just ten more pounds." He nodded to himself. He said this last time though and he would just keep on going until someone stopped him.