An Insecure Security

Chapter 1 - Jeremiah

In my opinion, some people are born for adventure, whether they like it or not. I was one of them. By the age of twenty-six, I was a formerly famous rugby player, with piles of trophies gathering dust in my apartment in Pretoria, South Africa. After my playing days were abruptly ended by a gruesome knee injury, I became a security guard, hoping for another exciting career opportunity. And I got what I wanted—at first. At first, nothing happened, ever. I just sat outside the door of a city council meeting, or sat in a chair inside of a bank, and never received any kind of action whatsoever. Maybe I'd had enough attention for a lifetime, I often thought. But I was wrong, terribly wrong. The next year my life's course was entirely changed.

My name is Jeremiah Ellison, I'm twenty-six years old and live in Pretoria, South Africa. I've retained my athletic and good-looking body from my playing days. I was not rich at the time in which our story begins, just lived in a modest suburban apartment and worked a 9-5 job. I was also lonely, more than I knew at the time. I had no real friends, just people who wanted to appear close to me for their own image. My story began on a dreary day in Pretoria when I had just arrived home from work and I heard the phone ringing.

"Really, a promotion?" I said into the phone.

"Yes, siree buster, raise, more benefits, the whole package," replied my boss, Jimmy Smith.

"Well then, this is great, really great! But there's got to be a catch."

"Well if you call 'catch' working for Mr. Charles Culvert, president of Culvert Security Agency, then yeah I guess you can say there is a catch. However, this job is in Nuuk, the capital of Greenland, so expect a temperature change."

"Oh, my, Greenland," was all I could say.

"So are you in or do I have to tell Culvert you're not up to it?"

"I..." I thought about it for a second. There was nothing really that I was clinging onto in South Africa, and the change of scenery might liven up things a bit, plus it couldn't hurt to earn a couple extra rand each year.

"The man said he wanted you for a special job. He said something about being the personal bodyguard for Mr. Culvert himself, or something like that," explained Mr. Smith.

"A bodyguard for a bodyguard agency?" I joked, something I hadn't done in who knows how long.

Twenty four hours later I had officially accepted the job. I didn't know where it would take me in my life, but anywhere would better than the spot I was in. I quickly absorbed tons of info about the Culvert Security Agency, CSA, in the next few hours. According to their website, they provided security to the world's largest corporations, and most governments. They supplied the secret service with men readily, and the Buckingham Palace was literally crawling with CSA agents. It seemed that hundreds of major crime schemes were terminated at the hands of the CSA. Also on the CSA's website was a general job description. It read: Here at the CSA we fight fire with fire. Clever yet evil masterminds meet their downfall by our equally sly and quick witted agents. Master crimes are foiled daily by our crime fighting puzzle solvers, the Culvert Security Wizards. To be one of these elite officers you have to be physically, as well as mentally, fit for the job. Speed and agility are just as important as quick thinking and cleverness. To become a CSA agent, you must pass through our rigorous training system.

As I finished reading my future job description, I thought to myself. I'm fast, I'm strong, but clever? I don't know. Sudoku puzzles frustrated me, and word jumbles were beyond unbearable. Would I be required to go through the same tough training regime as everybody else?

I called up the number on the site, in search of more information. They answered surprisingly quickly for a 1-800 number on a website. I asked my question, and they answered affirmatively. So as I hung up, my short lived excitement changing to something new: nervousness. Would I have to travel halfway across the globe to take a test, only to fail? Even so, I longed for a new scene in my life, and there was no turning back.