KYLA

CHAPTER ONE: TINY LITTLE THING

We become happy when we fall in love. But how can we not get hurt when we love? I guess they all come together. You become happy because you love. You feel pain because you love. Because you love, you feel so many things; the ones that makes you smile and the ones that makes you cry.

As I gaze upon our little Nico, I cannot help but think of Kyla; the Kyla of my childhood, the Kyla of my teenage years, the Kyla of my adulthood, the Kyla of my life. The girl who made me cry and the woman, who made me smile, laugh and made me feel joy and bliss but made me shed the loneliest tears that will ever flow from my eyes.

Twenty years ago...

"Real men don't cry, Robert!"my older brother yelled at me. I was wiping the tears from my eyes with my dirty hands. We were playing in the park sitting next to our house. The kids were all staring at me. Some of them were laughing and some just doesn't care.

My knees and palms were scraped and bleeding. I fell when we were playing dodge ball. Somebody pushed me from behind. I was so mad and hurt that all I can do was to cry. I was too small. I am only seven years old. They were all older than me; sturdier and taller. I wanted to fight. I wanted to show them I was strong. But I can't and it made me feel so tiny.

I looked up at my older brother, Ken, and I saw the warning in his eyes that says 'I will drag you back home if you won't stop sobbing.'

I stood up, still quite dizzy because of the fall and suddenly my world stopped turning. My eyes caught a glimpse of an angel. Yes, an angel wearing a red frilly dress. And it made me realize that angels must be really wearing red dresses because it makes them look amazingly cute.

She was looking at me. And I looked back at her. She was standing beneath the shade of a tree while her guardian was busy fixing her dress. I was surprised to see the look in her eyes. She was mad and I got the feeling that her fury was directed at me. I don't understand why she was angry. We are just strangers. I did nothing to her to make her feel that way.

We kept staring at each other until suddenly she took a step towards our group. Her guardian was surprised by her move and went after her to stop her but she kept on walking until she reached us.

She stared hard at me and said," Hey you, tiny little thing! You got to eat more. You're too weak and small thats why you stumble fast."She turned towards the kid who pushed me and pointed a finger on his face. "And you! You are a bully! You just wait and see. Once this tiny little thing grows up, he will knock the lights out of you!"

We were all stunned into silence. She was just a girl. Not much bigger than me and yet she had the guts to reprimand one of the biggest bullies in our neighbourhood. I was in awe but at the same time I felt shame much worse than what I felt before.

I looked down on my shoes. I cannot show her my face nor look her straight in the eyes. I felt the strong urge to run away and suddenly I just felt my feet working on its own. I run as fast as I can and I can hear the kids laughing as I went away. I felt like I was going to melt and I wished so hard that the ground will just open up and swallow me. For the first time in my very young life I desired to become much stronger.

I went inside our house like a storm. My Mom asked me what happened but I did not respond. I am very close with my Mom as I was the youngest of her three children. But I can never tell my Mom what happened. It was just too embarrassing.

I entered my room, locked the door and sat on a corner. I cried like a baby for how long I was not aware. I fell asleep. When I woke up I felt lighter. And in the darkness of my room I swore to myself that I will never cry again in front of anyone else and I will never allow a girl to fight my own battles ever again. The next time I'll meet that girl, if I will ever meet her again, I will be much stronger, bigger and taller so she will never be able to look down at me and call me tiny little thing.