It's been a week now since Alan arrived and his family is also staying here for good. We caught up with what happened in our lives after my family and I moved here. In a week I have been having fun with Alan but my thoughts then occupied my mind at night.
Memories of the past flashes my mind after I close my eyes at night, some memories both happy and sad. Years before we moved, I had a crush on my best friend...
yeah...pretty messed up.I knew about these feelings would probably break our friendship when he ever finds out. I haven't acknowledged the fast beating of my heart, that giddy feeling that others say they feel when they love someone. I ignored it as I haven't felt like that before and then when it's time to leave, I cried and accepted the fact that I love him but I know it will be a losing battle as I wouldn't be seeing him again for a long time, or maybe never again.
I thought that my feelings for him will fade since it had been years since I accepted that I loved him. But it seems that I'm mistaken, it just laid dormant, and then it begins to return when I saw him again. Knowing that he hasn't changed that much, he is my best friend, though I wanted much more from him, but I know that I shouldn't be selfish and I also don't want to ruin our friendship because I know that my feelings for him will not be returned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat up from my bed and looked at my clock, it's 9:30 a.m. I did my daily routine and went to work.
Gahhh! Even at work I can't think of nothing else but him! The director talked to me at the end of the rehearsal if I was alright, worried that I was acting strangely, not like my usual self.
"Shin, are you alright? You were kind of spacing out the entire day. If you have any problems, you can talk to me, alright? You're my friend and my colleague. I worry about you." The director told me.
"I'm...I'm fine, sir. *sighs* I'm sorry for not doing my best today. There's just a lot in my mind that I want to process"
The director looked at me with worry and understanding. "I understand. If you ever need to talk to someone, I am here for you. Take a week off. There's still some time before the final play. I'm sure that you can keep up with the others after your week off."
I smiled at him, grateful to be working under a great and understanding director like him. "Thank you, sir. I will take that week off to unwind and process everything that I am feeling and thinking."
