alive | GBD

Day 10

*DAYS ARE SKIPPING*

As much as I would love to say that Grayson and I just had a misunderstanding, but I can't. Kristin has been out with Ethan a few times but they never come here, which is respectable. I shouldn't be spending my last days angry and sad at life. None of this is Grayson's fault in the first place. I told him through texts that if he ever wanted to hang again, to give me a month. I know it's cruel, but I'm just gonna hurt him. I mine as well just let him be happy in the meantime. I started writing letters I wanted read at my funeral. One addressed to everyone important. I wasn't sure if I should address one to Grayson or not. I've only known him for 10 days now, but it feels like so much longer I swear. He's so intriguing and interesting to me. I would marry him, too bad I can't do that in 5 years. 

What's sad is, Kristin thinks I've told Grayson about my situation, but I haven't. I'm not going to either. That's why I told him I needed a month, I know I don't have that long. I decided writing Gray a little was only right. I should do it for his sake, and mine I guess. 

I hired a friend of mine from University to help Kristin at work because Kristin doesn't want me working anymore. I don't know what to do with myself. What do you do when you know that you'll meet death in 20 days? How do you possibly prepare for that? I just don't even know what to do. 

I heard a knock at the front door and assumed it was UPS. I opened up the door exposing my I.V on the left bend of my arm. I looked out the door and saw Gray in shock. "Wh- what's that for?" He said looking at me worried. I quickly covered it with my hand. "it's nothing Grayson. Why are you here?" He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "Ya know what, I'm here because I've known you for 10 days and I cannot stop thinking about you. You won't get out of my head. It's like my brain is being taken over by you. I can't think straight, I can't sleep, I can't freaking do ANYTHING MARY KATE!" He said practically screaming with tears in his eyes by the end. "I walked here because I think I could love you, and I'm not giving up on a relationship that quick. Then I walked to you and I see you having a I.V in your arm. What the heck is going on?" He said quietly. I have to say it. Just say it Mary Kate. "MK?" He said looking at me reminding me to talk. New nickname. "I've got the flu. It's a new test medicine using I.V. I don't want to see you for at least a week, if not longer." I said looking at him in his eyes. A tear fell down his cheek. "Alright." He walked down the hallway. This was the saddest I've ever seen a man and I don't know how to react. I just lied right to his face. How is any of this okay? I slid my back down the door till I hit the floor. I cried the loudest I've ever cried in my life. 

It's not okay MK. None of this is okay. 

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Hey! New chapter.... what's gonna happen?