Memoirs of a Nymphomaniac

1) FROM THE FRONT

      "Harder!", I screamed.
"Fuck the pain away", I thought.

I loved but hated the feeling of him inside me. The back and forth thrust of his dick within me. It was a temporary anesthetic to take away my pain and my hurt. I was a masochist to pain itself. I was aroused when we were just in sync back and forth, and when he pushed and pull everywhere. I quickly came and was instantly brimming with boredom. I pushed him off and proceeded to the bathroom. I felt disgusting because when I look in the mirror I saw an ugly on the inside that outweighed the pretty on the outside. I quickly cleansed myself of the impurity. I hurried into my clothes, and grabbed my keys.

                 "Clark, wait.", Danny said.
    "What Danny? What do you want? All we do is fuck. That's it. Is it that hard for you to understand?", I murmured.                          
"Why do you feel that we can never talk or that I'm just a fuck for you?", Danny  questioned.
    "Yes. Danny you are just a fuck to me. You take my mind off my pain. I thank you for that. Goodbye.", I bluntly said.

            I darted for the door and didn't look back. I thought maybe it was time for a new partner. Danny was my third this year. They always want to get attached. I've never wanted to hurt anyone, but I always manage to go to far or hurt them. I slammed my car door shut and fiercely cranked up the engine. I reversed and drove out into the road. In my rear view mirror, I could see Danny standing on the porch with a dazed look. I turned my head and continued on.
        My story is hard to describe, and I don't even understand it myself. I'm 24, in law school, and a sex addict. I absolutely am obsessed with the concept sex. I've had sex with all different types of men. I'm just in love with it. I live in Kester, New York, and I drive to Columbia everyday for school. I live in a Brownstone, and I work as a law office assistant. When I was 16 I was raped by four boys, and I think that's where the lust after men came from. I never told a soul because I didn't see the need to. The damage was done. I went on with my life, but not in the normal sense. I let go, yet I clinched on to that event. I now use sex as a coping mechanism and a suppressor. It's the strongest pot I could ever smoke, and the best heroine I could ever shoot. I don't see it as a problem because I feel that my life is normal. I pulled onto my street and parked the car. I trudged up the clay brick steps and unlocked the door and pulled off my heels by the door. Sleep was a major factor in my life, and I only had three hours before I had to wake up. I walked into the kitchen and fixed a cup of green tea.

           "Shit!", I yelled.
       I had spilled tea on my foot, and it was scorching. It burned like hell, and I rushed to get a towel out of the drawer. I sat down on the counter and noticed a coffee gift card with the mail. That was quite exciting because I wasn't getting paid until tomorrow, and I get coffee everyday. I just sat there holding my foot with a towel. I finally dozed off. "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!", my phone roared. I instantly awoke and was in total and utter discomfort. My neck and back were killing me. Fortunately, my foot felt totally healed. I jumped down from the counter, and I advanced to my room. I climbed into the shower quickly because I had to hurry to class. I felt I needed to wash the real dirt off because I only felt somewhat safe in my own home. I washed it all away, and I felt brand new. I slipped on my silk lace panties then put on my shirt and jeans. I grabbed my rubber band and throwing my hair up into a simple bun. I snatched my purse and keys and left the house. I got into the car and left.

       I felt so enlightened and elated. The radio was up and my sunglasses were on. I pulled up to the coffee shop and got out of the car. I automatically saw Danny at the front when I walked in, and he glanced at me. He put a pleasant smile onto his face, and that was my signal to look away and avoid any contact or conversation with him. Danny was the clingy type, and that's when I knew I needed another a man to replace him. Though he still had phenomenal skills. When he was in between me it felt amazing, and when he ate me out it was tingly and like a feather in and on the surface. He was a gorgeous man, with broad shoulders and defined cheekbones. He was perhaps perfect but not for me. The sad thing was that he should have been perfect for me, but I wanted just sex and I should've wanted a good guy. I waited in line for a good 10 minutes before I was able to order. I had noticed a guy looking at me and my smiling. I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear softly and smiled back. He looked like my type of guy, but Danny also did at first.

          "Hi, may I have a Strawberry Mocha Frappe?", I asked Danny, not wanting to make conversation.
"Clark, we need to talk.", Danny said.
       "There's nothing to say. I'm done with you Danny. You can't give me what I want, and I can't give you what you want.", I bluntly stated.
         "But.", Danny uttered.
      "But, nothing Danny! Just give me my drink so I can go.", I said. He gave me my drink and the next person ordered. I walked over to the guy that was watching me, and I sat down.

    "Hi.", I flirtatiously said.
  "Hi, I'm Casey.", he said. His voice was so sexy it made me wet underneath. It was like a god talking.
         "And I'm Clark. I saw you looking at me while I was in line.", I said. "Yeah, and I saw you smile back. It's very nice to meet you, Clark.", he stated. He was hot as hell, and his tone was so masculine but gentile. He was a sexy African god, like a Black Adonis of some sort. I wanted to take his clothes off right then and there.
     "It was nice meeting you Casey, but I have a class.", I said. I sipped my drink and my legs cringed.
   "Ok. I'll see you around.", he said. I slipped him my number slowly across the table, got up, and walked out the door in a sexy manner.

       He had me weaker than life. I wanted some of that, and I was going to get it. I got in my car and pulled off. I felt so libidinous and horny. It was 9:30 and I only had 30 minutes to get to class. I was speeding on the road just thinking about him. I was hoping he wasn't like Danny, and that he only wanted to have sex. I pulled into the parking lot, and I walked up to the building. I needed to talk, or  I was going to explode. Luckily, I saw Blythe standing there smoking weed. I'd always wanted to smoke weed, but I was too scared. That was hypocritical of me I thought. I was scared to smoke weed, but I wasn't scared to go around fucking and hurting people.

      "Hey Blythe.", I said. Blythe has been a close friend since my Freshman year in college. She's always cool and relaxed.
    "Hey girl. How you doing?", she asked.
    "I'm good. Blythe you need to stop smoking, honey.", I scolded.
"And girl you need to stop fucking every man you see.", she came back with.
"Touché bitch...... let's get to class.", I said.
We proceeded inside the building to class. While I endured those two hours all I could think about was Casey in between my legs, eating the life out of me. His tongue on my entrance and him entering it. I became a little wet and blushed. When I left class I went to work. I had always thought about becoming a stripper. I always laughed at the thought, yet it could better financially support me. That was another story. My mind was on Casey and suddenly I felt a vibration in my pants. I grabbed my phone, and it was probably him because I didn't recognize the number. I picked up the phone.

"Hey baby.", Casey jazzed.
"Hello Casey. You're so friendly.", I answered.
"You wanna meet up babe?", he asked.
"Sure. Meet me on 95th Street in Kester at 8:30.", I responded.
"Ok.", he said.

I was so ready for this, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Blythe and I worked together at the office in New York. I was ready to be done with this job. I was done with law school in one year. There were so many male animals that were disgusting, and I thought I was bad. There was a fine line between sex addiction and horniness. I just wanted to be at the top, and I was going to be. As an office assistant, I had horrible pay, boring duties, and a misogynistic boss. I was going to quit because I had no reason to stay. My job ended at 6:00, so I needed to prepare and pick some stuff up. I was feeling exited, and I was willing to go above and beyond.

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"
-Robert Frost