I Began to Understand

"That's the last of the boxes," Chloe said sadly as she closed the backseat door of Beca's car. "I can't believe you're moving so far," she said.

"It's an hour south of here, and Jesse paid for it," Beca shrugged. "It was impossible to say no to." She and Jesse hadn't been getting along so well lately, but he had bought an apartment and Beca thought maybe it would help their relationship if they were living together.

"It's like....almost to the border of Florida," Chloe said over-dramatically.

"It is not," Beca protested. "It's like 2 hours from the border, stupid."

"I'm gonna miss you so much," Chloe said, her eyes filling with tears. "What am I gonna do without you?"

"You're not gonna be without me. I'll be here all the time," Beca said. She was having second thoughts herself. She and Chloe had thought about getting a place together, but then Aubrey offered Chloe a room in her apartment and Jesse got an apartment for him and Beca.

"You're gonna hate me but can we have a movie night tonight? The Notebook is on Freeform at 9. We could FaceTime."

"You're the worst," Beca laughed, shaking her head at the redhead.

"You know you love me, babes," Chloe smirked, wrapping Beca in a hug. "I'm gonna miss hugging you whenever I want."

Beca didn't say anything in response, but just held onto the hug a little longer than usual.

"You alright?" Chloe asked, but she wouldn't let go of Beca until she did first.

"Yeah, fine," Beca said, finally pulling away. "FaceTime at 9?"

"Yep, and make sure you have snacks!" Chloe said, giving her best friend one last hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. "Love you Becs." That was something Beca loved about Chloe, the affection she showed towards her. The extra effort she made to make Beca feel loved and protected.

"Love you too, Chlo," Beca said as she climbed into the car.

She started driving and turned on the ramp to get onto the highway. She plugged in her phone and blasted her music, trying to get every single regret out of her mind. She was starting a life with her boyfriend, what could she regret about that? She was leaving her friends behind, but she'd still see them a ton. She just couldn't get the feeling of guilt out of her stomach, and she couldn't figure out why.

She passed the exit that she was supposed to get off on and kept driving. The thing about Beca was when she was upset, she'd blast some music and drive until she didn't know where she was. She just needed to free herself from anything holding her back, and driving and music did that for her. She was lost, and she thought maybe if she physically got lost, she'd find herself. She never did, and she'd usually end up calling Chloe in a panic, freaking out over her 4G not working, and begging the redhead to come to her rescue, and Chloe always did. No matter how far she was or how hard it was to find her. But this time was different. She was leaving because she had to, not because she wanted to. She was leaving her best friend behind. The girl she loved more than anything, maybe even her boyfriend.

But then I remembered when you packed my car, you reached in the back and buckled up your heart for me to drive away with.

She kept driving and driving until she saw a sign that read "Florida: 2.5 miles," and wondered how the hell she spaced out for that long. She exited the highway and pulled up to a coffee house, not exactly knowing what to do with herself. She got out of the car and went inside, ordering a black coffee before sitting down at a table and pulling out her phone. She debated in whether or not to call Chloe yet. She could just drive back, and Chloe would never know, but she wanted the redhead to be with her. She needed it. She hit call and took a deep breath as the redhead picked up.