Finding Myself

Troubles

I woke up with tears in my eyes. I was dreaming of her again, Kara. I felt myself involuntarily shiver. There was nothing I could do about these dreams, or should I say nightmares. I have long since abandoned the hope of getting a good nights rest. I viewed these often dreams of Kara as a sort of punishment for me. I didn't have anymore time to dwell on my most recent consequence when my brother began moving in the room next to me. 

 I decided to get up and file away my new nightmare for some time when I would be able to analyze it. I quickly stripped off my clothes and got in the shower. I welcomed the freezing water that brought my attention elsewhere. After showering for ten minutes I dried myself off and proceeded to getting dressed. Today I decided to go pretty casual. I found some blue skinny jeans, a white tank top with a black cardigan with matching black flats, and a bun to top it off.

I headed downstairs to get some breakfast. In the middle of finishing my waffles and orange juice I got a text. A little annoyed I checked it.

Caller id: teddy bear

Omg! Ted was texting me! I know, what a cheesy nickname but hey its cute like the owner! I read the text.

" Be ready in five," is what the the text said. What the heck does that mean?

Ding Dong! My doorbell rang. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

I opened the door to a smiling Ted. His smile slowly came off when he saw my eyebrows drawn up in confusion. I rapidly fixed my facial expression. I told him I need a minute and slammed the door in his face. I ran up the stairs and grabbed my book bag. He had to be here to pick me up right? I sprayed some good smelling perfume on me and headed to my brother's room. I knocked on the door then burstsd in. All Erick had on was a towel. His abs were showing and he was flexing in front of the mirror.

"Psssh," I scoffed. He turned around so fast his towel came off! I started giggling violently while he tried to cover his "manhood."

"Why didn't you knock?" he shouted embarrassed.

"I did knock genius. You were to busy looking at your muscles," I accused.

"Anyways, I got a ride to school and home so don't worry," I said and left. I came downstairs and headed to the front door. Surprisingly, Ted was standing where I left him. He gave me an amused expression before it turned to what I think was a concerned expression. I ignored him and headed to the car.

Like a gentleman he opened the door for me. He walked over to his side and buckled in. He gave me one of those heart stopping smiles which was then replaced by sad eyes. Why would he be happy one moment and sad the next?

"Nina?" he seemed to ask cautiously.

I raised my eyebrow suspicious of what was coming next. I motioned with my eyes for him to continue.

"Why do you look like that?" he asked sincerely.

I looked down at myself genuinely confused. I was wearing clothes that I considered decent. I frowned, did he not like my comfortable look?

He saw my look and quickly explained what he meant.

"No! I don't mean your clothes or anything. In fact I think you look rather cute," he said in a rush. It seems he had accidentally blurted out that last sentence. We both blushed. When he had calmed down he turned back to me and began anew.

"I meant you look worried," he said.

"You seem on edge and like you didn't sleep well. And you seem thinner than yesterday," he told me. He was looking at me waiting to see my reaction.

I must have looked a disaster. The reason I was on edge was because of the latest nightmare, nothing new. When I sleep bad it messes with my body and I lose a couple pounds here and there but not dramatic weight loss. As he was patiently waiting for an answer I decided to tell him part of it.

"If you must know I don't have very good sleeping habits. This morning I happened to wake up earlier than usual," I explained nonchalantly.

He realized I wasn't telling him everything. Hey if he wasn't telling me everything then why should I?

"Why won't you tell me the whole reason you can't sleep?" he asked accusingly. He turned on the car and we began heading to school.

"I don't see why if it doesn't really matter," I challenged.

"It does matter....to me at least," he said a little angrily.

"I dreamt...of Kara, or more like her murder," I whispered. He seemed to have softened and he held my hand. I was glad he didn't try to tell me anything or even try to figure out why I had dreamt of Kara. He still didn't know that every night I visited Kara in my dreams, and he would never know.

We got to the school and got out of the car. Everyone seemed to be staring. Then all of a sudden I get pushed aside and Ted is being dry humped by Laney. I rolled my eyes and I could see Ted looking at me to come to the rescue like last time.

"I missed you! I tried calling you but you never answered," whined Laney.

Ted was about to say something but I cut him off.

"It's because he was with me," I said to Laney's back. She froze and whirled around at me fury clearly shown in her eyes.

At that moment Jack, the most popular guy in our grade came up.

"What's wrong?" he asked Laney.

"Nothing," I answered instead. Jack turned around and gave me a smile. That smile would have worked on me, but it didn't because my goal was not to flirt or to get a boyfriend but is to become an important person that no one can say no to.

"Thanks," he replied. I smiled at him. It looked like he was about to come over to where I was but something suddenly ran into me. Something that I would always be able to later enjoy but not now. Apparently Ted had run into me and took the both of us down.