It started out as any day would, breakfast and and a quick cuppa java. I wouldn't want to break tradition. Bzzt. My pocket shuddered. I threw my hand into my pajama pockets and drew my phone out, clicking the side button the screen lit up and blinded me slightly as my body still adjusted to waking up. 1 New Message from "fingers". The message read "Hi, Dan i'll be there at 6:30". Fair enough, a good time to go over and get my homework done just before. Again, Bzzt. What, another? 1 New Message from "fingers"..... "I'm outside". The bumbling hulk whirred maniacally outside, I could hear it through the 5 inch thick steel noise cancelling walls of my room. Him. I grab my keys, pocket my phone, my shoes and I take off downstairs. Hopping with one foot with toast in my mouth trying to put one shoe on. Suddenly, CRASH. Dave kicks the door down with his steel capped Timberlands. "Danny you motherfucker! Get here or your ass is grass!" He screamed whilst I shuddered in fear. Running up and grabbing me by the scruff of my neck and swinging me around in a circular motion and launching me through the window straight into the car seat. "Were off to ASDA you fucking cunt!!!" "I need to get SUPPLIES!". I screamed in agony, "Dad! You said you were gonna be here at 6:30 not 2:30!" He screeched out of the house at full sprint and with a puff of smoke, corkscrewing through the air into the car screaming "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK".
Dave slammed his keys into the car and twisted it. The engine bumbled and moaned into a horrific roar. "Its time to let the beast off its leash.", he said as the 0-60 went no holds barred at 30mph. Dave screams "HRRRNGARR!!" as he whips the back-end out at the roundabout. "Haha woah Danny, ya feel it?". Still stiff from terror, I chirp a small "yes dave" quietly. Dave starts slowly pulling his pants down with one hand, an inch comes down every 4 seconds. I try to turn my eyes away as he peeks a few times at me with a giddy smile. "Dad, please don't". Its too late, his pants are down and he is sat cock in hand. The true sorcerer of the one handed steer. Dave masturbates furiously, throwing his head back with his mouth wide open, foaming at the mouth. The wheel spins clockwise and counter clockwise frantically as the car steers dangerously. "Dad!!!" He wakes up from his ecstasy. "Fuck off danny ive been driving for 52 fucking yeaaaarsssss!" He swerves with his now cumstained hands, creating a smooth sheen on the steering wheel.
Whilst avoiding many certain death situations, Dave stops the car in silence. We are left sitting in ASDA carpark. He takes a swift look at me and laughs. "gud wonnit". I say quite instinctively, "ye". Dave slowly puts his cock away and reaches into the backseat for a large plastic bag. He plunges his hands deep into it, feeling around all the corners, fingering each small item and rubbing its exterior gently. "Gotcha!" He tears a black sheep ale out and pops the cap with his tooth. "fuk ye danny, want some?" I shake my head whilst trying to remain calm in the fetal position. Dave says "ah your no fun kid wait til yer out in't clubs drinkin and whorin' then ya feel the BUZZ." With a thunk he falls out the car onto the cold concrete, mumbling old sea shanties under his breath. In the distance I see him stumbling through the automatic doors with many mothers covering their child's eyes. Oh no, he got his cock out again. After a few minutes I could see him in the windows to the left at McDonalds getting chased by security and pausing a few times to stop at children and whisper something to them. Jesus, Dave.
