It was us, we, and ours, but as time ran the gap between us grew. It became only me, I, and my, and worse I wasn’t even aware.
I never knew it happened
It began on my first day of school. It was routine for Mark and I to meet every morning to exchange our little drabble on life, but on that first day of highschool, our meetings stopped. His reason, simple, he only wanted to spend his morning to himself to organize his thoughts. It was understandable, so I let him go, and decided to spend my mornings to myself too, sleeping under the staircase where no one, but maybe a few bugs would bother me.
“Mark!” The second time came the next year. “My mom wants you and your mom over for dinner again. She’s making your favorite cheesecake!”
Head down and eyes glued to his phone he nodded his head, delaying for a moment. He couldn’t refuse the cheesecake. He wouldn’t.
“Uhhh, my mom will probably be there, but I’m busy tonight.” He ran ahead, his figure shrinking in the distance, “See ya tomorrow.” And again I let him go, spending my first family dinner without him ranting over some teacher.
My days went on, and each that slipped by, the less time I found myself in Mark’s company. More reasons of why he couldn’t be with me popped up, each I let go, each reasonable enough. Time was at fault, I forced myself to believe, he just didn’t have time for me.
My senior year finally came, and only then I learned that the distance between Mark and I was never going to disappear. The least I could’ve done was to find out what went wrong...
Those group of boys, seven to be exact, were the sole reason why Mark had been ignoring me. I saw them laughing with him, enjoying their time, making him scrunch his face in pure amusement, his signature expression. I stood in the distance and watched them, wondering how in the world did I never notice them. His new group of friends were always with him.
“Hi my name is Amy. How are you sir? Would you mind taking a quick survey for me?” My desperation to talk to Mark again grew, and the only way I thought of ever getting to him again was through his friends. I was gonna get to him one way or another.
The boy before me pulled his earbuds off, his eyes scanning my whole entirety, “Sorry, I’m sorta busy right now.” His name was Jeno. I’ve seen him with Mark a few times, and he was the only one I knew of in my grade that was connected to my once close friend.
“It’s gonna be quick. Please, I just need a minute.” A frown pulled into my expression, my eyes naturally getting bigger. Jeno gaped at me, my eyes burning into his soul. My gaze never failed me, and thankfully he finally agreed on answering my questions. It was a simple question of “What are your hobbies?” However the result confused me even more than it helped since the boy had nothing in common with Mark! Mark was never open to many hobbies and interests. I could never imagine him with these type of friends
The year only worsened as I got to know more of Mark’s friends. Nothing made sense! They all liked different things, their personality a bit too dull, and they’re genuineness lacking. I never doubted myself that much. Maybe, I really hadn’t known Mark all this time. Maybe he had changed, and that change never sunk into my mind. I never knew the change happened.
The buses slid down the road, the clouds looming under the sun, their shadow consuming me from head to toe. The first drop grazed my cheeks, and within seconds the raindrops were falling one after another. Ironically on the only day I had forgotten my umbrella. But you know, I never regretted forgetting that umbrella.
It was like a scene out of a movie. He ran to me from behind, the raindrops ceasing to pelt me, and over my head came an umbrella, provided by my one and only friend, Mark. It was unreal, and for a moment I thought I was dreaming. He just stood by me holding that umbrella so closely, ironically after years of distance between us. Tears began to flood my eyes, but I wore a fool’s smile, because nothing could’ve made me happier. Our walk was silent, but that silence provided such assurance that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if Mark changed. It didn’t matter that he had new friends. It didn’t matter if things were never the same. All that mattered was the fact that he stood by me, and that he was there holding that umbrella.
That walk I had with him, was the shortest walk I had ever taken. It ended all too soon, and the moment he took his last step I wanted to run away again for him to come back to me with that umbrella, but of course it was just small fantasy of mine. Strangely though, my surroundings were unfamiliar, and I realized that he did not take me home, a bit of relief rushing to me, but more confusion.
“Where are we?” I turned to Mark, only to find no one, and the umbrella on the ground. The sun had finally returned, the rain gone. There were stones scattered on the grass,“Mark?”
I never knew it happened.
“Mark?” I kept calling out his name, but no answer came, except for that one stone on the ground that called me to walk towards it. It was a simple stone shaped into a cross. My heart dropped, my cheeks paled, my surrounding strangely turning gray. How could I have forgotten?
It was a tombstone, with the name I most cherished belonging to the only person who understood me in this strange world.
Mark Lee.
