The Bad Boy Saved Me

1

(Song for this chapter above)

'I draw with silver,
And it turns out red
Magic'

~Unknown

***

I couldn't be bothered going to class. I just felt so fucking tired. Tired of everything. I excused myself from my friends and rushed to the bathroom and locked myself in. Once I knew I was away from everyone's sight, I dropped my fake smile I let my tears flow down my face. I let all my tears out until I felt drained and numb. I rolled up my sleeve and reached for my hidden pocket and pulled out my blade. I didn't have to think twice before I dragged it across my skin and as soon as I felt the pain and saw blood pouring out, I felt relieved.

Pain reminds me that I'm still alive.

I heard the bell rang which meant that class has started but I remained where I was.

I remember when I used to be a good girl. A happy girl. A geek. Somebody who used to compete there homework straight away and got good grades. Someone who used to spend hours talking to their friends about anything.
Someone my parents were proud of...

Now I'm just a bad girl. A sad girl. Somebody who doesn't complete my homework and get bad grades. Someone who hardly be online anymore and keeps herself to herself.
I used to be hidden in the crowd, somebody who people hardly notice but now I just stand out more. I used to be known as a 'nerd' because I used to get straight A's and I never got into trouble but now considering I don't go my homework and I get bad grades, I'm not exactly a 'nerd' in other people eyes. I answer teachers back and I just speak my mind, not caring about other people's opinions. I'm not exactly a 'badass' too at the same time. I've become someone who people try to solve out, like a jigsaw with missing pieces. I've become a mystery to everyone. And that is not what I wanted. Nobody understands me.

After a few more cuts, I clean myself up. I wash my cuts with cold water, which stings and causes more tears to flow down my cheek. I bandage up my arm with bandage that I always carry with me and I wash the blood of my blade and put it back in my pocket. I roll down my sleeve and look at myself in the mirror.

I really liked my outfit today. (Outfit above) And you know the best thing about my outfit was that hardly no skin was showing. Since that day I've been choosing my outfits really specifically. I can't show any skin but I have to make myself look presentable and normal at the same time. (My school has uniform so I don't really know what people usually wear to school. If you do, please comment.)

I stare at myself in the mirror which is painful considering I hate what is we each time.

I hate my body. I'm not good enough.

I've been eating a lot less over the pass few weeks since that day but I can't really see any difference in myself. I can just see fat all over me. My once bright ocean blue eyes have drowned and are now dull and lifeless. My eyes are red due to the amount of crying I've done and my mascara and eyeliner has smudged everywhere. I try my best to clean my eye makeup of but it's useless so I just take my brown hair of its messy bun and let it down so it covers my face a bit more.

I didn't realise how much I missed Lily until now when I looked at myself in the mirror. I still had the necklace she gave me on my 14th birthday.

'Happy Birthday Alyssa!' everybody screamed as I blew out the candles on my cake.

***

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Lily, my best friend, gesturing for me to follow her. I excused myself from everyone and followed her. She led me to my room and we both sat down on my bed.
''Why did you talk me here?' I ask her curiously.
'I wanted to give you your gift,' she says softly and I see her taking out something out of her pocket.
'You didn't have to get me anything,' I say to her.
'I wanted to,' she replies and places a small black box with a silver ribbon tied around it. 'Open it.'
I gently pull the ribbon off and slowly lift the lid up. I gasp at the sight Infront of me. It's a simple silver necklace with an infinite sign on.
'I chose this one specifically for you,' she begins,' Its an infinite sign which shows that I'm never leaving your side. Whether I live in this town or in a different country, whether I'm dead or alive I will always be there for you no matter what because that what best friends do, they'll never leave you.'