Gone too soon

Hey guys I'm here with another one shot. This one is sad and unlike what I've written so far so I tried making it as long as I could without dragging it on. Warning this made me an emotional mess while writing.

Gone Too Soon

Cammie pov

Tears were streaming down my face at an alarming pace but I made no effort to stop them. A picture was tucked into my hands, a simple object yet the reason for all my grief and agony. Whenever I look down at that smirking face a fresh set of tears springs out of my eyes. All of my attention, all of my focus was on the picture. It brought me to the sad realization.

I had nothing left.

I was numb all over. It's funny how one person can change your life for better or worse.

If anyone walked into this room right now all they would see is a sobbing mess. My hair was no doubt a mess, my face red and blotchy from crying but I didn't care. Why should I make an effort to look presentable when there is no one around.

Words cannot describe the pain I was feeling. My heart ached, and yearned for something, someone that I could never see again. Zach Goode was gone and he would never come back. Just the mere thought sent me into an uncontrollable sob.

Why him? Why now when I need him the most?

I questioned everything over and over again I stayed like that for a while, leaning against the wall. It seemed like an eternity standing like that.

It seemed just like yesterday that we were holding hands and walking along side each other oblivious to everyone else as if we had all the time in the world. Then it was me and him. Now I'm the only one left.

Before then isolation was bliss and now it was a pain, a gap in my heart and soul that can never be mended. The damage was gone, Zach was gone and with him the rest of my world.

People came by to offer their condolences but left quickly as I was not in the right state. I was glad they left, they didn't understand the pain I was going through.

The only people who could imagine what I was going through was either Joe or Bex. Both of them were close to him. His death devastated us all.

I can't help but remember how it all started that one day. He went on a mission. I had a bad feeling about it and begged him not to go alone. Zach laughed it off and promised me it would only be a week. I was told it was a simple mission, to get info on a stolen good and come back to report it. The agency failed to tell me who stole the item. It was an infamous mobster who was well known for getting rid of anyone who investigated them.

The first week he was gone I felt sick. I was constantly throwing up and my emotions were all over the place. I was angry at him for leaving me but wishing he would come barging through the door and hold me. I had a serious case of what I thought was PMS. I couldn't be further from the truth.

My mother came in one day to find me hurling into an empty garbage can. She was the one who wanted me to take a test. A pregnancy test. I refused at first. There was no way that was possible, it must have been my self-conscious refusing to accept the fact that I may be a mother. Another part of me waned to get the news (good or bad) with Zach by my side. Regardless I took it because I was forced.

The test was positive.

I was so happy then. I waited for the end of the week for Zach to come home but the CIA told me he was delayed. So I waited the next week, my anxiety flaring up. I couldn't shake off the feeling that something happened to him.

Zach was delayed a week after that. They claimed that he was close to uncovering something bring that could take them all down. They lied. They had no clue where he was at the time. After week two he went missing situation I was all to familiar with. I spent my days hoping everything would all work out and that Zach come home to be with me and his child.

I know now that I was feeding myself false hope. It's been a few months since he was delayed. He was declared MIA 3 months ago. Ever since then they have been relentlessly searching. I only went a few times to search for him myself. I couldn't be there long knowing hat he might be dead.

They recently found his body. They had trouble identifying it at first.

People told me that finding him would give me closure but all it has done was make things worse. When he was missing there was always a chance that he could come back, that he could be alive. Now all I feel is emptiness. I feel like a part of me is missing. I feel nothing.

I got the news of his death days ago, since then I have done nothing. I barely ate, I barely slept. I could not find the will to move on. I knew it was unhealthy for the baby for me to do this but I had no strength for anything.

I barely heard a knock on the door. It could be a robber for all I care. They managed to make their way in. Well there goes my door.

"Cammie?" I knew it was Bex, her voice confirmed it. I remained silent. I cried so much without hydrating therefore it hurt to talk. "Where the bloody hell are you?" She asked me. Her voiced echoed off the silent walls. I made the slightest of noises to get up when she came racing to me.

She helped me up to me feet and made me hold onto her for balance. "You look like shit my friend." I was too exhausted to come back with a witty remark.

I had a sudden urge to get away from the house. Everything in here reminded me of Zach. Everything from the walls to the pillows reminded me of him. It made me question how I did not go insane before with all of these reminders about him.

What hurt the most was that this was the second time I had to endure something like this. First my dad, now my husband. Why me? Why does this happen to me? Why was I the one left to suffer? How come it wasn't me who died? Things would be so much simpler if I did. For one Zach would be alive. I would trade my life for his at any moment. I guess this way the baby would survive. Then I would always have a constant reminder of how he's gone.

Why now? Why did he have to die now? He was young, we were about to start a family together. The world was a cruel place, I learned that the hard way.

"Cammie did you eat since the last time I saw you?" I shook my head. Unless half a cup of water counts. She sighed and moved me over to the couch. "Why are you doing this to yourself. I understand you are devastated by his death but doing this doesn't help." She went to the other room, most likely the kitchen to get me something to eat. I felt queasy at the mention of food.

"You do realize your hurting your future by doing this to yourself. It's not healthy." She scolded me placing a sandwich and some water in front of me. I had to admit it look look a bit appetizing.

"My future was Zach. And now that he is gone I have nothing left." It was the first word I spoken to her the entire time. It hurt my throat with every word that came out but I continued anyway. Her response was laughter.

"If you really think that then you are dumber than I thought. Your future is your baby. Zach's legacy lives on in your child. So stop acting like a baby and start acting like an adult." She was right. I knew it all along. I was just wallowing in self-pity feeling bad for myself. This wouldn't be what Zach wanted. He would have wanted me to take care of his child, our child and try to move on. I was blinded by my grief. And by doing so I hurt my child. There is no one to blame but myself.

"You're right Bex." I told her motioning for her to come close. I gave her a hug letting a few stray tears fall. "Thank you."

"You aren't the only one affected by his death Cammie." She told me. She failed to mention I was the who lost my child's father.

I will never forget Zach no matter how much I tried. I could never move on but I can attempt to accept his tragic death.

A/N: So that is it. It was pretty sad at first. I have to admit I had no idea what I was planning on writing. I just sat in front of my computer and began typing. Tell me if you guys liked this and if I should do something like this again. Vote if you liked this and comment if you were in tears by the end.

And that is it for this short authors note. -Zammie4life.