Invisible and Falling

Original Prompt: AU where Kuroko suffers a childhood full of loneliness and neglect due to his lack of presence. It culminates in a suicide attempt. Kagami interferes, and shows him the meaning of life - through basketball from Kagakuro prompts

Author's note: I couldn't pass this prompt up, and because school was cancelled I got to work on it. So enjoy!

Disclaimer I do no own KnB

Loneliness.

A feeling that shouldn't be known by someone of my age. To me that emotion was like an old friend that I saw every day. In truth it had been my constant companion.

My parents only had me because it was what was expected of them as a married couple. I knew my importance to them. My mother often forgot that there were three mouths to feed and made a meal large enough for only two.

If I wanted to eat I had to make it myself. My diet for most of my life had consisted of whatever was at school, boiled eggs, and the vanilla milkshakes that I had learned to create.

If I wanted something I had to earn money for it myself. So I had to get a job, I couldn't get money for chores.

It was like this with my father as well. I could stand right in front of him, and he wouldn't notice me. Only shift so that he could see what it was he was looking at before I came.

When I had nightmares, it was up to me to figure out how to calm myself down. My parents wouldn't come rushing in to see what the matter was and dry my tears. The worst part was that the nightmares were so realistic. It was always about me fading out of existence and no one would notice. Then at the end of the dream it would always be a funeral and no one would be around but the preacher and a few volunteers to lower my coffin into the ground.

Reality was sometimes worse. I was gifted with amazing observation skills, I could see nearly everything about everyone. I knew secrets that people thought only they knew. I saw how much pain existed in the world. From betrayals from friends, loved ones, strangers. It all came from being noticed.

I longed for that life. It would never happen, that was the sad truth.

Somewhere I figured out that humans as a hold tended to long for things that they could never have. Sometimes it was easy to live with the longing… other times it was so painful that you could barely breathe.

I longed for someone to notice me. To have a conversation. For someone to apologize when they bumped into me! Anything that showed that I wasn't just matter that took the form of a human.

I had tried to stand out. I dyed my hair light blue attempting for a comment or a scolding from a teacher. There was nothing, no double takes. The only thing that had changed was the fact that I now had blue hair.

For some reason I kept it. An act of rebellion, as I dubbed it. Only a small cry in a world of noise, it wouldn't be noticed.

No one would miss the one who was never known, that never existed.

Which led me to my current place. I stood on the roof of the gym, well after school. I walked along the wall that was there to prevent students from falling off unintentionally even though this area was off limits to the student body.

I stopped my pacing, turned and looked to the ground. I leaned forward a little bit, but the then straightened up. This wasn't hesitation, I just wanted to make sure my head was completely empty of thoughts before I took the plunge.

My head was as empty as I was going to get, I leaned forward even more. The ground blurry and moving as my slight phobia of heights kicked in.

I was seconds away from falling when I heard something behind me.