|Damage||cth| -au- DISCONTINUED

|Nineteen|

Luke:

I watched her cry for what seemed like forever in my arms. I still wasn't used to seeing her like this. She was always so strong.

Even when she told me that day that she cried a lot, I didn't believe her. Even now, I couldn't believe she was crying.
Although it was a small thing she did for me when I was ten, I'll never forget it.

Calum was so mean to her. I always watched and never said anything. She was always nice to me. I felt bad and I pulled her into my chest.

Like some cheesy movie, it started raining and I watched the rain fall out my bedroom window. Aria began shaking. Her hands were cold and I wrapped my blanket on her. Her cries soon died down into weeps and occasional sniffles. It continued to pour outside and soon thunder followed. She jumped a little in shock.

"You're scared of lightning?"

"No," she immediately responded.

"It's okay if you are. There isn't anything wrong with it."

"You're making fun of me. I can tell."

"I am not," I sarcastically remarked. "So...do you wanna talk?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"Well...we're talking so we might as well talk now."

"You first," she snapped.

"I don't really have anything I wanna talk about."

"I don't either."

"Don't be that way."

"Like what?"

"You have tons to talk about."

"You do too."

"Okay...let's see. To be honest, I think about death a lot." I confessed.

"That's morbid."

"Do you have anything better?" I kind of shouted.

"I feel so helpless."

"That's not true."

"I'm usually able to snap myself out of things like this but this is the most I've felt in a long time. I kind of forgot I had emotions."

"I didn't think you had any, Aria."

"Well, you've acted basically the same for a while."

"I get it... I don't have personality."

"You do. Don't get down on yourself. That gets you no where."

There was a long silence. It wasn't necessarily awkward but it also wasn't comfortable.

"How would you know?"

"Aria?"

"Hmm?"

She finally lifted her head and made eye contact with me. I also noticed that she had stopped crying.

"Did you like it?" I mumbled.

"Did I what?"

"Did I like what, Luke?"

"Did you like it when Calum raped you?" I rose my voice.

"Why would you ask such a thing? Of course not," she yelled.

"Most girls would kill to be in your situation and you're crying about it..."

For some reason, I was suddenly angry. I was almost angry that she didn't like it. It bothered me that she was crying about sleeping with one the guy everyone wants to sleep with. I knew she wasn't that type of girl. She would never be but she didn't even show excitement about the situation. Of course she wouldn't...

"You're supposed to like it... aren't you?"

"It's rape, Luke! It's fucking rape. I didn't want it. I wasn't fucking ready. And I didn't want my first time to be with him! I didn't fucking want it. Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"Because I'm tired of everyone choosing Calum over me and maybe I'm just shocked. I'm just fucking shocked because you're the first person who doesn't choose him over me. I'm tired of being everyone's second choice. Michael and Ashton hang out with him still, despite how I feel about him. They care what he wants and what Calum thinks. It's always 'Calum this' and 'Calum that.' Suck my fucking ass Calum. What about what Luke wants and what Luke thinks? Luke has feelings too!" I rambled.

Aria didn't say anything for a while. I looked down at her and a small smile rose on her face. She began laughing and used her hand to muffle her laugh. She tried her best to contain herself, knowing I was being serious.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just...you spoke in the third person, Luke."

"Is that really what you were laughing about?" I scoffed.

Her laugh was contagious and as much as I didn't want to, I started laughing too.

"See, you think it's funny too."

"Luke doesn't think it's funny," I spoke.

She began laughing again and I savored every second of it. I wanted to see her smile like that all the time. She finally composed herself and looked at me.

"So...what is Luke thinking about?"

"Luke is thinking about you." I whispered.

"And what does Luke want?"

"Luke wants to see you smile like that all the time."

"Aria doesn't think that's possible."

"Well, Luke will do everything to prove Aria wrong."

"Okay, Luke."

"What do you want in life?"

"I wanna be happy and I want to be with someone who doesn't get annoyed at me talking too much and too fast. I also want a rabbit."