Letters To Life

Dear Love,

Love can change the way a person thinks. It can make them lose their minds. The victims are overcome with this senseless emotion, but they are tricked into thinking it's the most marvelous thing that has ever occurred in their lives.

It drives them crazy, but it makes them feel sane. Once you fall into its clutches, it seems as if it won't loosen its grip. You're trapped. You're stuck wondering what the other person is doing, how they are, what it would be like to wrap your arms around them...

...but sometimes all you can do is imagine.

Dream.

Dream that they will someday love you back, even though you know that they won't. Dream that you can throw your arms around them like a psycho maniac, and that they would do the same. Dream that they'll wonder about you the way you wonder about them, but you know that that would never happen, but that's all it is; dreams; hopes. Maybe, you never even cross their mind...

A terribly thrilling emotion really.

It's hard to get out of, but you can fall into it in seconds.

I have fallen victim to this emotion, and I've fallen into it at its worst. The person I have these feelings for do not have them for me back, for I fear he loves another. Even though I can't help but feel grief-stricken, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have a reason to wake up in the morning, just to see the small smile that crosses his face every once in a while.

Blast!

I have broken a promise, a promise I have made to myself. A promise to not do this, to not become a prisoner or this cursed but wonderful feeling. This feeling called "love."

"Love..."

It seems to just flow like a river does down a gradually descending hill.

But why? Why did love do this to me? I hear these people talking about how amazing it is and see people who seemingly have the most enjoyable lives all because of this thing called love.

But why am I not this happy?

My heart aches, and breaks, and stops beating at times. It's painful, but it's healing...

You confuse me, Love. I fail to see what is so astonishing about you, but I see it clearly.

I want you to go away, to leave, but I want you to stay here, in my heart. I want you to stay with me forever.