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Santa really?

April 6th 2017

I wake up today with actual puddles of water around my bed from all of the crying I did yesterday I have to get rid of these waterproof sheets. I was thinking about something Ariel said yesterday A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it's up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back into the sky again. I was thinking about that all night I still don't have answers.
So After yesterday episode I thought I would go visit a friend of my fathers Dharma if I can drag myself out of bed.

Dharma is full of sage like advice and always makes me feel warm inside after a vist, Ze is like a jolly old grandpa.

Inside Dharma place is a life size steam train in ancient times people used them too travel on them. Ze can manipulate the size of the steam train so it doesn't take up dharma whole place all the time.

So I am dressed in my lion onesie and I am off to Dharma place. One thing Ze sayed last time I visited was you'll learn as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though Everybody is watching. March to the best of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in. I love that advice though I think I have giant weights in my shoes my legs are so heavy I have no energy at all. I need some more sage like advice and a reason to keep on moving, maybe Dharma will have some of that yummy hot chocolate Dharma always has I can taste it now. Strange Ze door is open when I go inside Dharma house there was no one there, I thought maybe Ze stepped out so I waited a few minutes, the steam train started up by itself and disappeared through a wall this startled me or to tell the truth scared the p-jeebies out of me. I lov that word p-jeebies. I have so wanted too say that for forever.

After running out of Dharma place I checked into it, nobody has seen or heard from ze. Dharma has just vanished, so it's time too put my detective hat on and yes I do have my new detective hat it's yellow and no you can't see it just kidding, check your tech, isn't it a beauty. I custom made it from some specs my mom had. Okay I am going back into Dharma place this time I am bringing a friend Kerry I given Ze the nickname Airy faerie Kerry  is a super sweet human doesn't really live up too nickname,  okay sometimes maybe . Kerry loves old stuff so of course I asked Zebtoo come along, so we meet up and now are going through Dharma door.

Dharma place is full of old stuff there are old chairs, old things too play music, old things off boats old tech, lots of really old tech. Hey I have never seen that before Kerry  hasn't either there is some old stuff from a church including a big strange book . Ze told me all of this stuff was destroyed or banned a long time ago how did dharma get it ? The train tracks that run through dharma place are warm almost hot too touch which is weird that is a clue for sure hmm. Hey we found a secret door I just got this new tech from Sam that finds secret places hidden by old tech and it worked I lov new tech inside the secret room there is a Santa Claus hat and a Santa suit I have not seen one of those in forever oh and there is some weird tech it reminds me of another time I put on a detective hat, hmm Kerry has never seen tech like that before but I might have.
There was a little sign in there that read you are the master of your attitude you can not control what happens to you, but you can control the way you think about all the events. You always have a choice . You can choose to face them with a positive mental attitude. I like that saying.

Okay this whole place was giving both of us the creeps so we got out of there locked the door and went for some juice. Kerry hasn't really any ideas what happened to dharma and I had too talk Ze out of reporting that religious stuff at least too we figure out what happened.

I do have one idea I sent a message too Sam and now I am walking over too Ze place. One thing ringing my ears Kerry just told me was Only a burning patience will lead to the attainment of a splendid happiness. I need more patience, Such a beautiful day for a walk but everyday is beautiful I guess. Everybody says, see the beauty in the now. Okay I am seeing the beauty in the now and trying to keep my mind off Darlene and being patient.

I am here, Sam recognizes some of the tech but it is a little beyond what Ze has been working on. Sam is very interested and really wanted too see more I told ZebI am not authorized too go back into Dharma place but there is a way around that Sherry agreed too help me again with a drone even though We got into lots of trouble last time Ze is still helping me what a great friend! Your awesome Sherry!

We are pretending the drone has a package for delivery for Dharma, okay it got in. We told it too go check out the railway tracks, yes they are releasing heat still very strange we are telling the drone to go towards the secret space. Hey there is a movement in there, it's this can't be, who we see it looks like a real traditional Santa it is putting toys into a big bag a lot of toys I wonder if it is a thief, I am considering calling the authorities just a second those eyes I recognize those eyes it looks like Dharma gorgeous lazuli blue eyes. The Santa is headed towards the tracks. Hey a train just appeared it wasn't there a second ago, okay our scan just proved that is Dharma, where is Zebgoing the train just roared up the tracks and disappeared how is that possible?

Okay Sherry promised too keep this whole thing private and this blog is actually on a delay today not live sorry folks we learn't our lesson after last time. Oh I always love too say folks that word is so cool. Until, I actually speak with Dharma this blog never happened okay guys. I do now have an idea what Ze is up too, how dharma is doing it not sure but that mystery will have too be for an another day as a teaser I have too say maybe the mythical Santa figure was real hmmm.... My mind is still on Darlene what should I do? I am hoping the passage of time will provide me with some clarity and stop the puddles from forming on my sheets. I suspect the puddles will be there tommorrow unless I confront this problem head on but how?

Comments
Ariel says "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

Kim says endings are beginnings you can feel happy in any situation look on the sunny side. What sunny side all I see is blackness.

Sam says I know you are always a little worried Darlene is reading this blog when you are not able to express your thoughts and feelings they get louder and louder in your head until they consume you either come over to my place and talk, or block Darlene and talk on your blog both ways work. Sherry agrees with Sam and says block Darlene so that you can talk with out fear you need too be able to openly express your feelings be brave you can do it! 

Kerry says completely block Darlene so you can move on .

Okay okay The tribe has spoken. Well I will tell Darlene to just message me directly to talk and I will keep this blog Darlene free Okay I will be brave! I love you all!
This blog will self destruct in 5 seconds
Just kidding it will be 10 seconds!

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