Broken

Theres this girl shes 15 years old, shes funny shes smart shes sweet and shes pretty, but shes got a dark side shes been hurt so many times its had such an effect on her, its only a matter of time till she finally breaks...

Why me? Why must i be punished? I cried to myself its just so unfair i mean I've never been anything but nice to people i mean sure when i was younger i was a bit of a monster, i hurt those who cared for me, but believe me it isn't because i wanted to it was because the only way i could show someone i cared was by hurting them i don't know why but it was...

Ive changed though.

for the last 6 years of my life I've tried to be the nicest person i could possibly be, i no longer wanted to be the girl who hurt people. i became so in love with being the one who was nice to people rather than the one who was a total jerk to everyone but this year I've realized that while i was trying so hard to be nice i forgot how to be mean. you'd think thats good right? but its not.

"Heey" my best friend Kiley says running up to me

"Heey whats up?" I say

"Not much glad you came to school though" she says in relief

"Yeah me to i guess,i mean i would have much rather not came but i had to so you know" i say

"So have you heard?" she asks me

"Heard what?" i say

"So i take that as a no" she tells me

"Nope,why whats going on?" i ask her

"Their saying stuff about you and apparently amber wants to confront you about how you said that she was talking about you" she tells me

"Yeah so i mean she was talking about me so whats it matter that i confronted her" i protest

"I don't know its just idk i also heard amber and sarah saying you need to get punched out... what if they try to beat you up?" she says with a worried look on her face and although i have no idea what to say i know that theres no way id let that happen i mean i can brush off the names but if it were to get physical id have to fight back i mean i cant just stand there and be beat...

"Thats fine they can try but believe me when it comes to fighting or being beat up... im willing to fight" i say while thinking i hope i dont have to but if i do i hope i can be strong enough to do it

"Well good for you i mean its bout time u stuck up for yourself i mean you should probably just bitch them out first instead once they see your not backing down chloe they will back of and leave you alone"

"Yeah i wouldn't count on that i mean this has happened before and even though i stuck up for my self then and it went away for a while but look its back again i mean it never truly goes away does it?, and what about you huh? you are going through the same thing and you dont stick up for yourself i mean your scared to" i tell her

"Yeah i know but i try believe me i do i mean id love nothing more than to tell them off and stick up for myself but i cant i just cant" she tells me and as shes saying it all i can think is if ur so scared to do it then why cant you understand that so am i

"Yeah i know your scared but so am i,i mean i don't want to be the bully i don't want to have to fight i wanna be able to come to school have fun see my friends and be happy not worry about whats going to happen" i tell her

"I know and i want that to but its not realistic for us now is it?" She asks me

"No no it isn't but I'm just so tired of being that girl the one people don't even know but choose to hate the girl that will never be pretty enough or smart enough or good enough to be liked,i hate waking up every morning dreading the day ahead of me when i should be happy to see what the day holds, im tired of crying my eyes out and being depressed because a bunch of stuck up snot nose bitches want to think their better then everyone else and feel like they need to ruin other peoples lives because theirs are pathetic" i say trying my best not to cry she looks at me as though to say she knows what im going through but never actually heard me say it out loud