Things Cops Should Do

Story Time

So has anyone seen the post where guns are renamed "rooty tooty point n shooties"? Well I have and it's fucking hilarious. I love the press the button game and sometimes I wish these could come true. THIS ONE ESPECIALLY.

Now just imagine....

A small bank with people going in and with moderate security and then BAM these fucking brutes walk in with guns cocked and loaded and starts firing up the joint, blowing out the lights above. Then some asshole yells, "Everyone he's got a rooty tooty point n shootie!"

I guarantee everyone in the entire building will fall flat with laughter. Especially if this is the first time hearing this phenomenal phrase.

But wait. Some brave soul in uniform steps up with a black halfling compared to the long metal sticks the robbers possess and says, "No fear! I have a rooty tooty point n shooty, too!"

Pew pew! Pew Pew pew!

I'm pretty sure if I didn't go through this in my head a few times I'd be in tears.

BUT WAIT! Because it gets better!

If I was a criminal and some hunk in blue pointed a rooty tooty point n shootie at me I would not feel the urge to stop. If he says freeze, I'll wish to be frozen on a hot summer day. Elsa will be my friend during those times because I personally hate the heat.

But that is not the point. THE FUCKING POINT IS IS THAT SAYING FREEZE DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO STOP! IT MAKES ME KINDA CHILLY AND GIVES ME A CRAVING FOR ICE CREAM.

Don't you think it would be way more effective if they shout "Mannequin challenge!"

As goofy as I am I will STOP and do the WEIRDEST pose I can do. I'll look like a broken doll or do something funny like Ace Ventura. Hope I spelled that right. Or one of those insanely goofy actors like Jim. Oh God yes I'd love a movie with a scene like this. YES. YES. YES!

Wait!!

And instead of "put your hands up in the air," they should be like "Put your hands up in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care."

I AM PRETTY SURE THIS WILL BE 100% EFFECTIVE.

And you remember that awful dance we had to do in elementary and middle school? (At least that's when I had to do it). The Cha Cha Slide?

IMAGINE THIS

What if when cops said "back up!" They instead went "Take it Back now yall"

3 HOPS THIS TIME

SLIDE TO THE RIGHT

SLIDE TO THE LEFT

CRISS CROSS

HOW DO YOU IGNORE THIS

On an added note, please be respectful of law enforcement officers and emergency workers. They chose this job because they care about us more than themselves. This is NOT safe work! But they do ot to keep us safe and to serve justice to those that hurt others.
No they are not always right. Yes, there can be corruption. But keep in mind they are just as scared as the rest of us.
DONT ALWAYS BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA. PEOPLE LIE. TRY TO EXPRESS FAIR REASONABLE DOUBT FOR ALL PARTIES UNTIL MORE PROOF IS LAID.
They are doing their best. They are not out to get you. But they are definitely on scene to protect you.
These guys see things you only see in movies or read in books, sometimes they are attacked and they have to hold funerals for their coworkers more than their own family, I guarantee it.
My respect for officers and emergency workers is high. They are human just like us. ♡