Blonde Jokes

There was three girls stranded on an island, one was a brunette one was a ginger and one was a blonde. One day a bottle appeared in the water. They swam out to get it. One on land the opened it. A genie appeared. He granted the each one wish. The brunette wished to be back in her homeland, and POOF! she was gone. The ginger wished to be with he family, and POOF she was gone. The blonde said "gee it sure is gonna be Lonely here without them... I wish they were back!"

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There was a blonde, brunette, and ginger, and they were all stuck at a gas station in the middle of a desert with no water. One day a farmer came along in his truck and stopped for gas. His truck had a lot of baskets in the back so the girls thought " we could get out if we could hide in the baskets!" so while the farmers head was turned the three girls jumped into the back of the truck. the brunette hid in the basket with the kittens, the ginger hid in the basket with the puppies, and the blonde hid in the basket with the potatoes. the farmer got into his truck and drove off. but the road was bumpy and he heard a lot of screams from the back. he stopped his truck to see where it was coming from. he opened the basket with the kittens but the brunette said "meow meow" with all the kittens so the farmer thought "nothing in there". so he.opened the basket with the puppies but the ginger said "bark bark" with the puppies. so the farmer thought "ok nothing in there". So then he opened the basket with the potatoes and the blonde said "potato potato!"

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There was three girls stranded on an island, one was a brunette, one was a ginger, and one was a blonde. They could see the shore seven miles away. so the brunette said "well we can't just sit here all day" so she swam to the other land mass. the ginger did the same. the blonde tried to do it because she didn't want to be alone so she swam halfway and thought "I'm tired" so she swam the three and a half miles back to the island.

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Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don't know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

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Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

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A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.

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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV, it's a microwave!"

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What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!"

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A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he's a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"

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Once upon a time a blonde was swimming in the river. A man went up to her and asked, "Why are you doing this? The blonde said, "I'm washing my clothes. Is there a problem?" The man said, "Why don't you try a washing machine? The blonde replied, "I feel dizzy in the washing machine!"

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So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.

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There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"

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