Blank thoughts

Chapter One

Blank. My mind was blank. It was 4:00 am. No sleep. I stretch and throw  the covers off, no use going back to bed. I suddenly cough into my fist. "It's just a cold" I whisper to myself. "Nothing more".  My legs are shaking. I sigh and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door lightly so I wouldn't wake up my bunk mates. I look into the mirror. My reflection stares blankly back at me. My hair is messy, its brown smooth texture now into a mess of knots. My eyes are drained of life and marks are under them. Sweat is clinging to my thin tank top. I cough into my fist again and take my shirt off, throwing it to the ground. I look up into the mirror again and can't help but cry. So much had happened since my mother died. "Eren". I gasp. In the reflection, is....my mother. She is smiling, and wearing a white dress. Her face is bright and happy, tears of joy across her face. She walks closer and embraces me into a hug. Tears stream down my pale cheeks. I let it all out. "M-mom" I sob. She gushingly shushes me and hugs me tighter. "Oh Eren" she whispers. Carla releases me and looks at my shaking body. "Oh you've grown so big" she smiles. I wipe away my tears and smile. "I've done so much" I say with joy. "A-a-and I'm sorry" I begin to cry again. "I could have fought back against Hannes, so I could save you" My crying gets worse. Carla looks at me and gasps. "No Eren" she sobs. "You are NOT responsible for my death". Carla embraces me into a hug. I sob harder into her shoulder. "I'm so proud" she whispers. "I'm so proud of what you've done to save humanity". She takes my head into her arms and kisses my forehead. "T-t-thank you mom" I stutter. She smiles and hugs me once last time before disappearing. I stare into the mirror and suddenly begin to throw up. My cold was probably turning into a fever. Ever since I emerged from my titan form from the final battle, I've been feeling terrible.  The door opens. Armin. He rubs his eyes and is wrapped in the thin blanket from his bed. "Eren?" he asks in a groggy voice. "Are you okay?"  I nod simply. Armin looks behind me and sees the puke on the floor. His eyes widen. "EREN!" he suddenly embraces me into a hug. My eyes widen and I wrap my arms around his warm body. "Eren, is your cold getting worse?" he whispers. "I don't think it's a cold Armin" I whisper back. Suddenly my eyes widened. Levi had seen the whole thing. "Sorry if I interrupted your make-out session" he comments rudely. I clenched my jaw. Levi gagged and plugged his nose "Jaeger, did you throw up?" he snaps. I sigh and nod. Levi goes to the other side of the room and grabs a bucket and mop. "Arlert, clean this up" he snaps. Armin nods and turns on the faucet filling the bucket with water.  "Jaeger" Levi states. I stand up straight. "Follow me".  Levi opens the door and beckons me to follow. I run over to my bed and pull out a jacket. I zip up the jacket over my bare chest and walk out the door.  Levi lights a lantern and leads me outside The sun is barely peeking over the horizon. A cool breeze wisps my hair. Levi finally stops at the peek of the hill in front of a small house. Levi hands me the lantern and gestures me to go inside. "Hanji is inside" Levi states. I nod and he opens the door. Levi nods and walks away. Fear grips me.  I step inside and shine the lantern. The house smells of freshly cut wood and a burning fire. Hanji steps into the light and grins.  "Glad you could come" she grins and grabs my arms, pulling me up the stairs. The stairs groan in protest. When we reach the top, Hanji takes a right and walks all the way to the end of the room. The door is padlocked shut and a selection of weapons neighbors it. Hanji picks up a small spear and shoves it into my hands. "Go get em tiger" she snickers. My eyes widen. "Is there a titan in there or somethin?" I sputtered. Hanji laughs. "I wish" she chuckles. "There's someone in there who said your name in their sleep and asked for your presence" she begins" So we're giving her what she wants".  I try to pull back, but Hanji has already unlocked the door and shoved me in. The door clicks shut.  My lantern goes out and I'm plunged in darkness. "You son of bit-". I go silent. In the corner of the room, is a bed of blankets. And in the middle...was a girl wrapped in a sweater. The figure shifted to the left then sat up. I gripped the spear. "W-who is it?" the figure snapped. I close my eyes and walk closer. I reach for the matches in my pocket and swipe it on the box. The glowing orb begins to eat away at the match. I quickly light the lantern and blow out the match.  The figure covers her face. "Y-y-you wanted t-to see me" I stutter nervously.  "Why?". The figure is silent. Then she stands up. "Because I-I'm sorry". The figure steps into the light. I gasp and drop the lantern.  It's Annie