Proximity. // 〈Layhun/SeXing〉

Proximity

Humans naturally want what they can't have and Yixing is no exception.

Yixing always wonders why Sehun is so close, yet so far out of reach.

Yixing pretends not to notice the other boy's small mannerisms. And he prays to God that he won't notice any more. He averts his eyes from Sehun's signature "tongue poking out of his mouth when he's nervous", "I have showered with everyone but Yixing", or maybe when he comes to him when he needs help learning Chinese.

He pretends not to notice how their interactions are mostly, "Let's hold each other's waist or sling an arm over your shoulder, cause why not." He ignores the kiss that they had shared at the China Love Big concert and the slight tingling feeling when Sehun's hand leaves his waist. He refuses the fact that Sehun is an amazing good kisser.

Yet he wants them to be so much more than this member-member relationship. He wants to become more comfortable with the other's presence. He wants something that he doesn't know. But all he does is want, want, want and it sadly never happens.

--

Yixing stretches his arms forward, the computer screen being the only source of light in the pitch black room. He lets the black, sound-canceling headphones fall from his ears and rest on his neck. He felt like collapsing, the small electric piano becoming swirls of black and white. He sat in silence trying to shove the thought that, Wow this desk suddenly looks comfortable, don't you think so too Yixing? He shakes his head violently, his black mop of hair flying around his head and crowning it. "You need to finish this composition," he whispered to himself, "everyone will be disappointed if you don't."

He put his headphones around his ears and straightened his posture. The computer's clock screamed 4 AM and his body was pleading for him just to close his eyes and rest. He listened to the composition once more. It needs something, he thought, pressing his lips into a thin line. Yixing racked his brain for something, anything that could be put in, but nothing had come to mind. He leaned back and sighed, he felt like he wasn't going anywhere on this. It felt like he was walking on a treadmill, going nowhere and wasting energy, despite working so damn hard. "Hyung?" A voice came from behind him. Yixing turned to look at the speaker, shocked that anyone was still awake at this ungodly hour.

Sehun was standing outside of his and Junmyeon's shared room, burning holes into Yixing's retinas. "You shouldn't be up this late." He walked closer towards him, Yixing's eyes following every single movement, until Sehun rested on the left side of him. A light pink shade was dusted on his cheeks due to the space between them, especially since it was so small. The younger stared at the computer screen, analyzing the different colored bars and the abundance of them. "I know," a sarcastic, small laugh tumbled out of his lips before he knew it. Sehun frowned at him in slight disapproval.

The way the other had stared at him made him feel like a bug under a microscope; reading into all his actions and words. Yixing nibbled his lips, his attention span and energy waning every second. He felt high strung; too hyper aware of the situation, yet too tired to process it. "You shouldn't be up this late either." Yixing retaliated, determined to finish this fucking song before the moon was replaced by the rising sun.

"I just woke up."

Bullshit, Yixing called in his head.

"I came to get water 'cause I was thirsty," he reasoned. "I didn't think anyone was still awake."

"Then the kitchen is over there."

"I know."

Yixing's patience was beginning to dissipate, but he held himself back. He shouldn't be causing problems with their team just because he got pissed at Sehun from impatience.