Sans x Ketchup

Wtf.

So this a joke. Also, Frisk is a boy in this. The cover art is not mine.
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"SANS! PUT THE KETCHUP BOTTLE DOWN! YOU'RE SCARING THE HUMAN!" Sans held the bottle of ketchup to his side being overly protective of it. "*no." Papyrus frowned. "SANS. GIVE ME THE KETCHUP BOTTLE." Sans shook his head. "FRISK IS EXTREMELY DISTURBED BY THIS." Frisk hid behind the couch, a look of disturbance strewn across his face.

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!" Sans glared. "*you don't understand our love, Papyrus!" Papyrus looked at him absolutely disgusted. "IT'S KETCHUP. HOW CAN IT POSSIBLY BRING YOU ANY-" "*IT BRINGS ME LOTS OF LOVE AND AFFECTION!" Frisk still hid behind the sofa. What the fuck was even happening? Sans sniffled a bit. Bloody hell, if this isn't the worst soap opera ever, then I'll be damned.

Sans sniffled even more. "KNOCK IT OFF, SANS." Sans was now being even more out of character. "SANS. STOP IT." Sans began sobbing. What a crybaby. He squirted the ketchup all over himself and then just fucking died. He was now a pile of dust on the floor covered in ketchup. What the fuck was this shit? Frisk stared for a few seconds before truly resetting the game. And then he never left the Ruins ever again.

Why the fuck did you read this?

Why the fuck did I write this?

Go listen to Hamilton. That shit's lit.

....You expecting some sort of bonus scene? You're not getting one.

The Gr8 Papaya slam dunks Sand into ketchup and says "im dun w/ ur shit. also i have tearable grammer plz halp."

Sand dies.

The end.

Fuck off.