She Saw It First

Chapter 1

When i was a little girl something terrible happened to me. I was raped. I was told that it would prepare me for the future, like that would justify what was happening. He would come in in the middle of the night and pull my pants and underwear down and i would pretend that i was asleep, clutching onto my teddy bear. I was eleven when it started, and even though it was only about two to three weeks it felt like years. He told me not to tell my mom because it would destroy her. So i didn't, i thought i was keeping her safe so i would let myself get hurt. I haven't been the same girl ever since.

It started one day when David( my little brother) and I were wrestling with John( my step-dad). When i ended under him at some point John begun to grind on me. He stuck his tongue out like he did when he was really concentrating on something. At first i thought nothing of it, i thought he was just messing around, but i stopped playing immediately. A couple days later John called me over and leaned in to tell me something but then started to kiss my neck, and i'm not going to lie, it felt good so i kept going over there to get him to do it.

Shortly after that he would touch me. He would rub my boobs or my vagina through my pants, and I was disgusted by his touch. When I wanted something he would touch me then let me have it. Even if I was just sitting there he would touch me. I was told that I had completely changed. Especially by my middle school boyfriend.

One day i had asked him if he would do this to his own daughters and he said, " I would if they were here."

After that i was absolutely terrified of him.