"You though you knew me " </3

I love the pain it brings me,

I don't know why

The pain is my pleasure,

as I sit there and cry.

Cry myself to sleep,

I wake up to an annoying beep.

The beep of my alarm.

Waking me from my dream

My dreams, my own personal wonderland.

I love it there

I can actually be happy and free.

Without the chains of depression dragging me down.

People say I'm the happiest person they know.

Always bubbly and free.

But I guess they don't know me.

My mask, the one I've been carrying since as long as I can remember,

Has been there for me. The one thing I can count on.

I fake my emotions.

As I have been for the past 13 years.

13 years of sorrow

tears

pain

fears

13 years of lies,

I wish I could just say goodbye.

Goodbye to it all.

I'm done,

it's over.

I hate what I've become.

what I choose to be done isn't up to me

I've never gotten to choose who I want to be.

I love the pain it brings me,

I don't know why

The pain is my pleasure,

as I sit there and cry.