Another bleak day in the workplace as usual, thought Jake to himself. It was to be expected as a customer-service receptionist, yet he still let his boredom get the best of him despite that. If only he had something to make a job such as this worth his while.
As he pondered this, the phone rang in its obnoxious manner. He hoped this customer was patient, as his own was running thin currently.
"Hello, thanks for calling State Farm. Like a good neighbor, I'm here to help. What is it I can assist you with?" he answered in a monotonus voice.
"Oh, I don’t want help. I want you," a seductive-sounding woman responded.
Jake spit out his coffee all over his paperwork. At least he didn't have to worry about it now, but he did have a more pressing matter.
"I-pardon? I'm afraid this isn't a dating hotline..." he nervously joked, suddenly seeming to find the caller's voice familiar.
"You see, the truth is, I've admired you for a while. But I didn't want to say anything in fears that my employees wouldn't agree. But I can't bear it. I'm tired of acting so chipper and bubbly when all I can think about is you," explained the unknown woman, not a hint of doubt gracing her speech.
"What even-? Wait a second. You're...Flo? From Progressive?" He couldn't believe he didn't recognize who it was sooner. He watched her commercials on repeat every day when he got home, fawning over her immaculate appearance and snarky personality. He was captivated by her from the very second he saw her. However, they were rivals in business. It was frowned upon for opposing workers to be seeing each other. Still, he...
"So, will you go on a date with me or what?" Flo impatiently questioned.
This was it, the deciding moment.
"Yes," he confirmed quietly.
"Great! Pick me up at 8:00 tonight after work!" she squealed, abruptly hanging up before he could protest.
Well, damn. He was going on a date. Feeling dazed, he closed his eyes and groaned.
~
Jake timidly approached the building with a bundle of car and home-shaped paper flowers. He reused his soiled papers to practice his secret hobby of origami, and it seemed it had gone quite well for him. In front of the corporation was Flo, wearing a pale blue dress that was scarsely decorated, yet fit her image perfectly.
"You look...stunning," Jake observed, his face slightly heating up.
"Thanks. Your khakis turn me on," she bluntly countered, winking.
He violently coughed, his blush spreading.
Flo, pleased by his reaction, linked arms with him and led him to his car.
"You know, I can help you save a lot of money things you ride every day. In more ways than one," Flo shot mercilessly, causing Jake to get yet more shocked. He almost veered of into a ditch.
"Flo, please. I appreciate your attempts at humor, but would you mind toning it down some?" Jake sputtered.
"Sure, sure. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it," she agreed.
Had this woman no shame? She didn't seem fazed in the slightest.
After what was basically ages of Flo cracking jokes every few minutes, even after saying she wouldn't (her claim was 'wait! I have a really good one!'), they finally arrived at the restaurant.
"This place looks okay. I think the owner uses Nationwide, though," she commented in disgust, taking her seat.
Their meal was more civilized than the journey there, with Flo earnestly asking him questions about his personal life and getting excited every time they had shared interests and ideals. By the time the bill came, he didn't want to leave. He wanted to talk all night and then some.
It turned out not to be much of a hassle taking her back home either. There were a few pauses in which Flo would stop mid-sentence and give him a heart-melting look, but other than that it was pleasant.
As he turned into her driveway, Flo looked as if she were a small child about to play a prank on their sibling.
"I have one more joke," she began, trying not to burst out in laughter before saying it.
"Your car doesn’t have to be the only thing you smash when you come to me," she barely managed to get out and started howling in laughter. Jake had the same initial response of red cheeks, but was considering something.
Like a good neighbor, Jake ended up staying there with Flo.
