I called Josh six times and got no answer so I decided to try and sleep because I hadn't got any in the last few days.
It got to the point where I was hearing things. I didn't know if I was asleep or awake but it was definitely there. Was I going crazy?
[B L U R R Y F A C E]
YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF CRAP. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO YOU AND JOSHUA. YOU MESSED UP YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP AND CAREER WITH HIM. I BET HE CAN FIND SOMETHING BETTER THAN YOU- WHATEVER YOU ARE. YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT. YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE INSTEAD?
I was terrified. I walked into the bathroom to get some sleeping pills and after two minutes of rummaging through the cabinet I finally found them at the back. I pulled them out but an old razor fell into the sink with it. I stared at it for a while- wondering how much damage it could do to some skin. I once heard this bully in school making fun of this girl for self harm and yelling:
"Your doing it all for attention! Remember: cut down the arm for results!"
I'll always remember that. We didn't see her for a couple of weeks after that but when she came back she had a long scar going across her neck. The boy got expelled, of course.
Anyway, I took three pills because it said that two put you in a deep sleep. I wanted to sleep for most of the next day so that I could forget about those voices in my head.
