Life Without My Mate

Part 4

"Stop being such a baby, Tall!" Grande pouted, his lip curled over like a boil.

"I'm not a baby!" I stomped, folding my arms over my chest and looking to Donnie for moral support.

"Nah kid. He's right. You're a little pussy ass *****." Donnie said, shrugging in a very nonchalant badboy way.

You do know that badboys are a way of life, don't you? If not, then you need to get out more. Ultimate badboy Rider James is living proof. He's my daddy after all.

Peaches says he had strong, muscular baby daddy shoulders and grunts sexily and he only smokes badboy brand cigarettes. Someday I too will smoke badboy brand cigarettes and do all of the badboy things that Rider James does because he is a sex god. And to be successful in life you need to be a sex god.

That's what I learned from TV. Who knows better than TV? Donnie. Donnie is a badboy. So that means that I need to be a badboy and do all of the badboy jobs and sell crystal meth the drink mix.

"Donnie," I whined. "Can you show me again how you make the drink mix?" He shook his head, but Peaches growled at him and so he agreed to show me his drink mix lab again.

"Why do you wanna learn about my work so bad?" he asked at Grand waddled along behind us.

"Because you only need a few things to be successful. You need to be a badboy, a sex god and you need to sell crystal meth." I looked at him like he was stupid so that he would feel bad about himself for asking a question.

"Actually Tall, they say that the true formula for success is confidence, education and self respect." Grande tried to sound all reasonable with his stupidness.

"Well that's ****ing stupid." Donnie shook his head. The two of us laughed and high fived and continued to grill Grand for being ugly for another two hours until the batch of drink mix was ready.