Are you happy? Three words I never knew that could be worse than a drive by shooting. You sitting up watching her sleep,all along thinking are you dreaming of me? See our conversation has become mute were here with each other all the time or rather I'm here with you. You off in this world I'm not invited to though I'm your mate I feel as if I don't even exist to you, so are you happy?
Did I ever say I was unhappy or what did I ever do? Do I not try to listen to your conversation with engaging through my eyes even though ,they are not staring at you ....
THEN HOW ARE LISTENING IF YOU DONT SEE MY DISTRESS, AND DO I Even KNOW YOU HEAR MY REQUEST?
There you cut me off and began to yell. But I'm the one not listening ...Hmmm
Just answer the question are you happy? Or are you just dealing with this out convenience and the benefits?
Is that how you feel? I never asked you for benefits and well it's more of a convenience for you.
I never said you did and that maybe true but still that's not what I asked you?Are you happy?
I quite understand the question but I don't understand why you're asking... You take my quietness as a threat and my laid back as a guard. I never told you I was unhappy and that I wanted you to leave. But sometimes get at conflict to myself because I want space and I want you.... I want to give and can't afford to, I want you to live the you dream of but I'm stuck and I can't move.
Then tell me that you need me out loud in the room, show me that you crave me the same as I do you. Try to understand I don't need the stars and the moon, but I do need to know that I'm not fighting this love alone.
What am I suppose to say when question shows me doubt, because just like you I have been beaten, broken, and cast out. We all love a little different but you are driving next to doubt. Sitting there let her steer you off a cliff because she doesn't know what happiness is.
So this is my fault because I'm scared and I want to be prepared for the worse.
See thats not what I said nor is that what I implied, but how can you ask me a question when you're not the one that's driving? So am I happy, I'll tell you yes because if I wasn't you wouldn't be here. If I was unhappy I wouldn't search for your body in my sleep, if I were unhappy I wouldn't pray for you before me, if I were unhappy you simply Wouldn't be here my sweet.
The voices began to all talk at once, I closed my eyes as the room started to turn and fall to my knees and scream I'm sorry. She wrapped her arms around and kissed me on forehead she it's okay I understand because that's what happiness is.
YOU ARE READING
Voices of the MiZz-Understood
Randoma collection of thoughts, a group of words that you never say allowed,the arguments, the tears, the should of, could of would ofs, the what ifs and maybe's that you never say out loud.