Bound To You

CHAPTER 45

I shoved both of my hands onto the pockets of my jeans. She was smiling while she's waving her right hand vehemently.

"Kanina pa kita hinihintay. Akala ko hindi ka na papasok since kanina pa dumating sila Pamela" she said.

My smile slowly wavered as I heard her name. Why it doesn't sound right? Tss. Nagkibit na lang ako ng balikat saka nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. If we'll stay here, we're gonna be late for our first class.

She followed me until I felt her walking beside me. I pursed my lips and tried not to look sideways dahil madadaanan na namin ang classroom nila Yanna.

"Can you suggest me any bookstores who sells old books?' Ashley asked.

I halted my steps then looked at her "Why?"

"May hinahanap lang akong lumang libro" she answered then smiled at me.

"There's a lot of bookstores there who sells old books, meron din sa National bookstore, yung mga nakasale." I shrugged then continued walking.

Tahimik akong pumasok sa loob ng classroom. Raven was frowning when he saw Ashley behind me. We also caught everyone's attention when we got inside.

"Close na kayo? Is this why you're giving up on her?" asked Raven.

Napamaang ako. Ashley has nothing to do with my decision. Tss.

"You don't get it bro" I said in a serious tone.

"Enlighten me then" hamon niya.

Bago pa man ako makapagsalita, dumating na ang prof namin kaya naman tinapik ako ni Raven sa balikat. "Do not think you were save by the bell. You know me bro, parang ako si Mike Enriquez"

"Who the hell is Mike Enriquez?" My  brows furrowed.

"Yung reporter sa GMA. Yung nagsasabi sa imbeatigador na hindi kita tatantanan!" He then burst out laughing.

Insane. Tss.

I shook my head and let him laugh until he got caught by our professor. If Pamela was wondering how Yanna's became her best friend, im asking the same to myself why Raven is my best friend too. Tss. Bagay nga sila ng pinsan ko.

The time passes and our classes ended. Ashley quickly dragged me to the parking and begged me to help her find this particular old book.

"Please?"

I sighed and ruffled my hair. Why am I being drag in here? I picked up my keys and fob and opened my car and hopped inside. My forehead creased when Ashley sat on the passenger's seat.

"Don't you have a car?" I asked but she just smiled at me.

Wala na akong nagawa kaya hindi na lang ako nagsalita. I promised to be good to her and im keeping it.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

I didn't answer. I guess she felt my moodswings that's why she finally shut up. I stopped the car at the nearest mall and walked ahead of her to the bookstore.

"What's the title of the book are you looking for?" I asked when we got inside the bookstore.

She shook her head "Hindi ko alam"

I frowned. "How can we find it if you didn't' know what you're looking for?" I said impatiently.

"It's a classic novel about cancer patient that miraculously survived and didn't die in her given time. I just saw it on the internet but I forgot the title" she explained.

My facial expresion softened. I remember what Tita Brenda's reminder and the words that has been written on the piece of paper she left at the park. I extended my hand and held hers. She was stunned for a second but immediately recovered then held my hand back tightly as we roamed the bookshelves.

I help her searched for the particular book. Pinuntahan namin lahat ng bookstore pero wala pa rin kaming makita. It's impossible to find one, lalo na't we didn't even know it's title, but I don't want to disappoint her. Im a type of person who doesn't want to disappoint anyone in general.

"Tingin ka naman dito Trystan!" sabi ni Ashley but I ignored her. Gusto ko ng umuwi pero gusto ko din naman makita yung hinahanap namin.

"We'll quickly find whatever we're searching for if you help me" I said without looking at her.

Hindi siya sumagot kaya tumunghay ako at tiningnan kung anong ginagawa niya. My brows furrowed when I saw her fidgeting with the hem of her skirt as she bowed her head down. I sighed. I was about to say something when I heard a very familiar name that always caught my attention.

"Ano Pam? Pumili ka na!"

Napalingon agad ako sa paligid nang marinig ko ang boses ng pinsan ko. Napatayo ako when our eyes met and she's glaring at me as if may malaki akong kasalan sa kanya. But then, nag-iwas agad siya ng tingin nung tumayo ako para lapitan siya. Natigilan ako nung makita ko siyang palapit kay Pam. She's with her.

I didn't hear whatever they were talking about. Pinanood ko lang silang lumabas ng booksale. I wanted to ran and chase after them and I feel like I needed to explain everything to them pero bago pa man makahakbang ang mga paa ko, I felt someone crumpled the hem of my shirt, stopping me to go.

She smiled at me "Gutom na 'ko. Kain muna tayo" Ashley said.

Isang beses pa akong sumulyap kina Pam pero nawala na agad sila sa paligid. I heaved a sighed and ruffled my hair. Now im confused. Hindi magtugma ang mga desisyon ko at nararamdaman ko. That's why I don't want to see her kasi, alam ko na babalik ako kahit gaano pa kalayo ang inatrasan ko. My feet always wanted to step forward, my hands doesn't want to let go. It will be my downfall if I ever I decided to do it. And it will be very painful. Kaya nga I decided to do it, little by little pero ngayon pa lang parang ayoko ng ituloy. Tss

Napailing ako saka inalis ang pagkakahawak ni Ashley sa shirt ko at nauna ng maglakad palabas ng bookstore. Tuluyan ng nagbago ang mood ko. Nanatiling nakakunot ang noo ko hanggang sa makapasok kami sa restaurant. I don't even have an appetite pero hindi ko naman pwedeng hayaan na magutom ang kasama ko.

"What's your order?" I asked habang ang mga mata ko ay nakatutok lang sa menu.

"Ikaw ng bahalang pumili"

Napatingin ako sa kanya at lalong napakunot ang noo ko. She smiled at me as if im doing something na nakakatuwa while I was just sitting here with brows smashed together. Tss.

I sighed again to calm myself and get our orders. I looked at my phone and quickly text Yanna to explain what she saw earlier. She has this way of thinking na hindi ko gusto. She might influence Pam to think negatively about me. I knew her, alam ko kung anong iniisip niya ngayon. From the way she glares at me. Tss. But before I could even type a letter, I received an mms from her. My lips pursed and my jaw clenced as I saw the picture of Pam and Ian. Kahit hindi nakangiti sa picture si Pam, just for the fact that she agreed to take a picture with him was a big deal to me. So, he's with them huh?

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa phone ko at mabilis kong binura yung picture. I don't need to torture myself more. And im not that stupid to keep it! Dammit.

I groaned and closed my eyes. This is the reason why I want to distance myself. I want her to be happy but I don't want to watch her being happy with someone else. It's more than the ego. It's about my feelings towards her that was reciprocated. It hurts.

Nawala na ng tuluyan ang gana ko sa pagkain kaya tumayo na'ko without minding Ashley. She's not my responsibility anyway.

"Saan ka pupunta?" she immediately asked as she followed me.

"I need to go home. I'll pay for the bills and you should eat before leaving this place. Just get a cab when you go home" I said as I continued walking.

She whined something but that was out of my concern anymore. Im not in the mood to tolerate her. I don't even know why did I decide to be with her today. Tss. My impulsive decisions will harm me one day.