He Dumped Me For A Boy and other short stories

He Dumped Me For A Boy

Dear World,

This is a story of how my boyfriend chose homosexuality over me. The signs were there, believe me. I just don't understand how I missed them.

Warning bell # 1

He had more of a fashion sense than I could hope to achieve. It was not my best friend who helped me when it came to shopping but him. At the time, I thought it was odd but I believed the crap TV sells about metro-sexuality and how cool it was. I even felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have a boyfriend who knows how to look good.

Warning bell # 2

We never had sex. In fact the longest make out session we had lasted two minutes. I do not think it even qualifies as making out. He would peck my lips sporadically and move away when tried to kiss him more deeply. Its not that I did not want to. Believe me, I gave him all the hints a girl could manage. At the time I thought he was trying to respect me like any of my ex-boyfriends did not so I let it be.

Warning bell # 3

I caught him staring at a guy's ass. Actually we both were. I asked him to explain and he said he was only checking out the label of the jeans. It would have made some sense if the jeans itself was worth looking at.

Warning bell # 4

He did not watch any manly film. By manly I mean, all that senseless violence and sex in action movies. I wanted to be a perfect girlfriend so on our first movie night I chose Machete, Die Hard 4, Aliens vs Predators and Final Destination. He surprised me by bringing the Bridget Jones Diary, the Ugly Truth and Vampire Diaries. I thought he was sweet for wanting to make me comfortable. It got awkward a bit when he cried a little but I brushed it away. The next movie night was the same as the last; we watched one mushy movie after another.

Warning bell # 5

He did not sleep with Tiffany, my best friend. All my boyfriends went through a kind of right of passage. Tiffany would be all over them, they cave in and that marks the end of the relationship. The only reason I do not complain is cause its a test to see if they can remain faithful while someone as lustful as Tifanny throws themselves at them. That and the fact that she has three STDs as of last week. She did try though, used every trick in the book. I was so happy thinking I finally found my Prince Charming that I ignored her when she told me that he was more interested in the cover Sports Illustration than her. That issue, by the way, had the most drool worthy male model I had ever seen.

Warning bell # 6

I slept with his best friend while at a party. For a week, while I was freaking out, he acted normal. I thought he had no idea what I did and was grateful to Dick for keeping his mouth shut. Tifanny, the ever reliable source of gossip, told me that Dick did not in fact keep his trap shut. After a tryst with my best friend, Dick revealed that my boyfriend already knew. He just did not care enough to react. As soon as she told me this, I promptly went over to his house.

Warning bell # 7

I caught him in bed with a another guy. I went into his house and found it empty. I was willing to wait until he got back to explain myself when I heard the oddest sounds. Curious I went to his bed room. Its kind of hard to explain but I walked to find him doing unimaginable things with Dick. As expected I was too shocked to say or do any thing so I left. The next day, we met at Starbucks and he dumped me before I could. Apparently, he was tired of hiding who he is and that I was beautiful but not his type. It was a very embarrassing situation. Damn you Justin Bieber! ( A\/N just kidding )

That concludes my story. If you feel sorry for me now wait till you hear about the boy who dumped me for my mother.

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Adios