Find Me Hiding [Vic Fuentes]

New Look, New Feel

Somebody's suppose to fall in love...

 

        Getting to know Vic and Mike again was difficult. They had changed so much; I'd given them eight years to grow up. Vic didn't have a funky part in his hair anymore, it was down too his neck and curly at the ends. His hair made me think of chocolate-flavored whipped cream. They still had the same personalities, both funny and sweet. It was still weird not seeing them like I did growing up. Jaime was a total blast; he'd make me laugh at everything and anything, which I truly needed. Jaime seemed to understand what I was going through. I felt that I could trust him.

        Tony's like an oyster, he has a hard shell but when he opens up to you, he's a honestly beautiful person. Tony is very shy, and it took him a few days before he actually started having conversations with me. He was sweet and endearing, and so understanding. He didn't give me one look of bewilderment when I talked to him. Vic does that when he doesn't get my point. Tony gets me. I could definitely trust Tony. Tony was going to be like Mike to me, a brother. So was Jaime. They all were. Perhaps with the exception of Vic.

"Why I can't I be skinny?" I whispered to myself, standing in barely anything in front of Vic's mirror. I'd have to spends days, even weeks at Vic's house because of my dad. I pulled and pushed my flesh, sucking my gut in, holding my breath. Nothing worked. I weighed two-hundred fifty pounds. Sixteen year-olds weren't suppose to weigh this way. Vic came up behind me, and turned my around to face him. He kissed every single part of my body. 

"I don't want skinny," He exclaimed. "I want you. I think that you're absolutely beautiful." Vic rubbed my back in slow circular motions. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I don't love myself, though." Vic shook his head, and hugged me.

"Lily?" Tony asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh sorry, I just zoned out. I was thinking."

"About what?" Tony questioned. Was he really curious? I don't know if I want to tell him. I trust him though, and Tony can keep a secret.

"I was thinking of a time when Vic and I were together. I was freshman and he was a junior in high school."

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"It  was a sweet, romantic memory. I was just wallowing in self-pity and Vic let me know how beautiful I was, even if I never believed him. I wouldn't believe anyone, I weighed two-hundred fifty pounds. I don't understand why Vic loved me." Tony nodded. I shivered at the thought of being that weight. Even if I needed some meat on my bones right now, I don't ever want to weigh that again. 

"Tony?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Can you take me shopping today?" I asked. Tony nodded. He jumped up and we were off to the mall.

~

"First I need a hair cut." I said. We walked into a hair salon within the mall. It wasn't like SuperCuts, but it wasn't high-end, either. It was just what I needed. I ended up shaving half my head, leaving fringe down my left side. I put blonde and blue streaks in my side bangs. 

        We went into a few stores, and Tony practically bought me a whole new wardrobe. Tony took me to Victoria's Secret, and he bought me seven new bras and a quite the underwear. We went to the bathroom so I wouldn't have to walk around in Vic's boxers and sweats all day. I changed into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I dare not wear anything revealing, for I have too many scars and marks. I'm not ready for that exposure, not yet anyways. 

        It felt so refreshing to be clean. I was so tired of feeling and looking like I belonged in an orphanage. I loved the way the new clothes smelled like the departments and factories they were made at. Tony let me buy soap and shampoo and body products. We had at least three bags full of it.

~

"Woah! Someone's looking hot!" Jaime exclaimed as Tony and I came onto the bus. Tony rolled his eyes as I cringed at the unwanted attention. Vic, who was sitting on the couch, glared at Jaime. If looks could kill, Jaime would have a gravestone above his head by now. 

"It's nice to see you looking better." Mike implied, taking a sip from the bottle of beer in his hand. Mike always seemed to have beer in his dirty digits. I smiled at him.

"Thank you. It feels good to look good." I replied, sitting across from Vic. He started at me, eyeing my from my haircut to my new sneakers. I felt uncomfortable. I got up and walked to the back of the bus. I crawled up to Mike's bed. I stopped sleeping in Vic's for a while. I was in discomfort to sleep with him next to me. Mike didn't mind, sometimes he'd even end up wrapping his arm around me. It wasn't romantic, Mike was just the protective brother I never had. I pulled the blanket over my body, and I lay there. Did Vic have to stare at me like I was a new guitar? I understood that I had a new look and I was clean and grown up, but that didn't give Vic permission to gawk at me like he did. 

"Hey, you okay?" Mike pulled the curtain back halfway, resting his arms on the edge of the bunk. I sighed.

"I guess. Vic was staring at me like I was a piece of meat, and I felt so uncomfortable." Mike nodded.

"Vic's still getting using to you being around again. He'll adjust soon." Mike brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

 

"I know. I'm not use to him much, either. I'm worried he won't want to be around me again after all this time." I said.

"Hey, don't think like that! Trust me, Vic wants to be around you. He misses you like crazy. When you're gone, some days you would be all he'd talk about. Jaime and Tony would be so confused, but they knew that Vic still cares for you. Vic might even still love you," Mike reassured me.

"Hell no. Vic doesn't love me anymore. He can't."

"Maybe it's a different love than before. Perhaps he's just re-falling in love. You're a lot different, you're much more independent now. Vic's not use to that, and he likes it. Vic dated a few girls over the years, and wrote a few songs, but by the way he was glaring at you earlier, he's most definitely into you." Tears started forming and trickling down my face onto Mike's Jack Skellington pillow. Mike wiped my tears.

"I'm not ready for him- or anyone for that matter -to love me. I just got away from a fucking eight year chase with my mental father. I need time. My father is probably still looking for me. I'm never getting away from him." I cried, my whimpers probably would be heard by the rest of the band.

"Don't worry about it, okay? I'll make sure you, Vic, and everything will be alright." Mike kissed the top of my forehead and left, leaving me to sleep.

***

Hey Guys! I'm sorry that my chapters are usually really long, it's just how I write! I like long chapters, hehe. Anways, keep sharing, liking and commenting! Thanks for being the best readers ever!