Zach

Chapter 5

Almost immediately after mother woke up, they sent her to a rehabilitation center to recover. Everything she does or everywhere she goes, she has to have a person watching or helping her. They're worried she might attempt suicide again, so they babysit her.

Father has been drinking less as advised by one of the people at the center, they feel that maybe his drinking problem was one of the reasons why she did what she did.

The hospital has become irrelevant and we no longer have to sleep or eat there. I get to sleep in my bed again and father has been buying food for our kitchen.

It has been three days since mother woke up in the hospital.

"Hungry?" Father's fake happy smile and fake happy voice has become normal.

"Sure."

He pulled out a bag of bread, turkey meat, mayonnaise, and cheese and made us sandwiches. After we ate, father took me to go see Dr. Ivin.

He thought making me this sandwich would make up for all the nights he's come home drunk, but he cannot make up for that because it's already happened. He has spent nights at the 'store' many times before.

I'm not angry at him for drinking or anything else he's done, I don't care what he does. I am angry with him. I'm angry because I'm the reason he drinks when it's his fault I'm like this. I could be normal but he's the one who didn't watch us and he's at fault for Cody's death, he's the reason Cody's family hates me and mother doesn't want to live.

It's all because of him.

"Go in, I'm gonna go visit your mother while you're here."

I got out of the car and marched in, the desk lady pointed me to his room. Dr. Ivin is always in the same office room, I don't know why she keeps pointing me to it.

"Well hello, Zach!" Dr. Ivin has a uniquely real looking fake smile and welcoming gestures, maybe he's not faking it.

"Hi Dr. Ivin," I said violently.

"Why so angry today? Is it because of your mother? I'm so sorry to hear what she tried to do and I'm happy for you and your family that she pulled through."

"It is because of my mother, it was so devastating, finding her in the bathroom like that, especially when father came home drunk." I immediately stopped being angry and threw up everything that happened while cracking my voice as if about to cry and watering my eyes, he ate it all up.

"Oh, Zach! I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"

That's it, the question that's supposed to comfort one who is falling apart.

"Well actually, I've never had a ten dollar bill before," I gave him a hopeful look.

"Well, okay." He thinks my medication is working, I started hiding it in the couch or flushing it down the toilet. He handed me a ten dollar bill from his overflowing wallet, he could have given a lot more and not noticed financially.

After the appointment, father was waiting in the parking lot. When I got into the car, he told me to sit in the front seat.

"Your mother is being released today."

"That's good news."

His face said otherwise.

Soon after we got home did we have to leave again and back to the rehabilitation center it was.

On the car ride there, father kept lip-singing and dancing to the radio. He's embarrassed himself at many stop lights.

Finally we arrived.