Devil or Monster? (Darahae And Chandara Fanfic)

17

Chanyeol's POV

I loved her from the moment I laid my eyes on her. I was utterly smitten. She was my first love.

In this world full of reprehensions, she was the one who saw who I really am. She embraced my flaws and turned it into strength. She pushed me to be better everyday.

Her love made me want to wake up in the morning. Her love made me want the evening end faster. Her love's the reason why I play the piano, the reason why I play the guitar, the reason why I sing, and the reason why I live.

Our love wasn't perfect. But together, we beat the odds when the universe was not on our side.

But maybe, something this magical had to end at some point. Just when we thought battles were finally over, the universe found a way to snithe our hopes of a happy ending. The love that we fought for ended in just a blink of an eye.

Until when will we hide? Until when will I wait? I'm sick of this kind of love.

I thought those words were the most painful that I heard. But I was wrong.

I deserve someone who's man enough to tell the whole world how much he loves me. Unfortunately, it is not you.

I died at the very moment she said those words to me. Those words haunted me every time I try to breathe.

Donghae and I... We're seeing each other now. So please, don't ever bother me anymore.

How could she just obliviate 5 fu cking years? How could just she fall in love to someone easily and throw our love away just like that?

I watched her walk away knowing I would never see her again. And there I was, standing stiffly. Lost for words and bewildered.

Days, weeks, months later... Alcohol was the only thing that keeps me sane. My eyes bulged and seemed to be programmed to drench every time I think of her. My hands would slap my face out of nowhere to convince myself that it was just a dream. I would occasionally stare blankly at the ceiling until it's just a blur.

I couldn't fathom my life without her in it. If only I could go back to our last few moments. If only I just said and did something to change her mind.

One day, I just woke up wanting to see her. Looking like a mess, I went out of my room and rushed to their house, with hopes of making it up to her. I was desperate

But she's not there. No one could tell where she is.

I looked for her for almost a year. I went to places I've never been but she's nowhere to be found.

I lost all the hope I have. I resigned to the fact that a significant part of my life is over.

I tried to move on and forget, but with a rebellious heart. I was back to my delinquent habits. What's the use of being good anyway, I thought.

On my way to moving on, I saw her unexpectedly in a hospital. She's wearing a wig under her red fedora. She lost a significant amount of weight. She looked so pale and I almost didn't recognize her if not for her radiant smile that still captivated me.

I wanted to go closer to her. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to take care of her. But I can see from afar how much happy she is with Donghae. I couldn't help but runaway and cry.

I went to my safe haven, the music room in school, thinking that playing the piano will take away my anxiety. But it didn't help. It rather made me remember all the memories we had.

I anguishly lamented and screamed out loud. I slammed everything my hands could reach. I was hysterical, delusional and out of my mind. Seeing her face on each corner of the room made me kiss a wrong person.

And in that kiss, I found closure.

. . .

I was holding her hand when the cardiac monitor started to beep continuously and display flatline. Agony and grief filled the room.

"Chanyeol..." Donghae handed me a stationery envelop. "It's Eunice's request to give this to you when she's already gone."

I took a grasp of the envelop and held it near my heart for a second before opening it. My tears avalanched as I start reading the first sentence.

To my first and last love,

By the time you read this, I already lost the battle to Ewing's Sarcoma and I'm already gone in this beautiful world.

First of all, I want to say sorry for the pain I caused you. I'm sorry if I left you. I'm sorry if I lied to you. I'm sorry if I broke your heart. You have the right to resent me and I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I want you to know that I did that not because I don't love you. God knows how much I love you. You always dream of us of having our own happy family. I'm afraid I couldn't give it to you so I have to decide. I know you'll be hurt if we broke up but I know you'll be more hurt if you knew that I'm dying.

I've said this a hundred times but I won't get tired of saying that I love you. You're the best thing that happened to me. Just because I have passed away does not mean I am not with you. I'll always look after you. If you have a problem, just close your eyes and feel my hug.

Let's just continue our love story in the after life. I will be patiently waiting for you even if it takes hundreds of years. But for now, I hope you'll find a woman who'll fulfill your wishes of having a happy family. A woman who'll be with you until the very end. I'll be the happiest person if you found her.

Neoreul neomu saranghae!

Love,
Eunice

PS: Please don't hate on Donghae. I just instructed him to pretend that he was my boyfriend so you'll stop winning me back. Again, I'm sorry. I hope you'll be good friends in the future.

. . .

~~Above video features Chanyeol's heartfelt cover of Jeong Jun Il's song Hug Me. Listen to the song while reading the lyrics.~~

This chapter is so sad, like when I learned Yixing isn't coming to #EXOrDIUMinManila. 😭

#TeamDay2 here. Anyone who attended the concert? If you've seen a girl distributing EXO Philippines' fan project banner (iniirog kita, bes) holding a paper fan with Chen's face on it, and roaming around red, yellow and green gate, then you already saw me. 😁