Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is the most common type of autoimmune arthritis. It is triggered by a faulty immune system (the body's defense system) and affects EVERYTHING.
Aspiring Author. Terrible Speller. Even worse procrastinator..
Of all the things I would describe myself as, an RA sufferer is not one that usually touches tongue first because of one simple thing- everyone has an identifier, whether it be tall or small or the painter or whatever it may be, I refuse point blank to allow the girl with RA to be mine, and frankly I disagree with the word sufferer in terms of me and RA.
Maybe I'm naive. Maybe i'm just too God-damned arrogant to believe i'm a sufferer. Don't get me wrong- I have felt that pain, but i'll be damned if I consider myself a sufferer because once I do that it's as though I have given into the idea that I can't do whatever I want, I can't become whoever I want, and sure- sometimes it'll be hard and sometimes I'll cry and moan and feel down, but to claim to be a sufferer is to acknowledge something that isn't true, something I think means it's a constant, when it is not. Not when you don't let it.
Sometimes I say things and even in my own head I reply with 'well, it's easy to say this now' , and by-God, yes it is easy to say now when I am pain free- but I did feel the wrath of RA, and i was in it's sneaky, tightening grasp as it worked it's way into every nook and cranny of my life, and it did destroy my confidence and it did make me see life in a new way at first, but as Tubthumbing so wisely said- I get knocked down, but I get up again!
I've learned quite a lot about my RA, but most of what i was told when first diagnosed fell on deaf ears or flew right over the top of my short head because I was diagnosed at 14 and I was still in a comfort zone fortified by both Michael and Maria. But as I've gotten older and been through more flare ups, I've paid attention to what works for me and what doesn't- what my limits are and when I need to take a breather and re-evaluate what is happening. I've pushed myself when I shouldn't have, and still do at times, but that's because I don't believe that I can't handle it. I've crippled myself with chronic pain from overexertion, and probably taken one too many Solpodene to ease the pain but overall I have a grasp on what does and doesn't help me now.
But apart from the RA stuff which I'll talk about later, I learned a hell of a lot about myself that I don't think I would have learned otherwise- and not just medically, but about me as a person. No I do not let it rule my life or direct me in making my decisions but I do take it into consideration if I need to; I've learned to control it and live with it, not the other way around. It hasn't always been like this, and even now there are bad days- catch me out on a bad day when I'm sore and tired and I'll tell you that whoever wrote this is full of shit, but the way I look at it is; you can be in pain and miserable or you can find ways to manage it and get on with it.
SO, yes RA did, kinda, sorta, play a part in molding me into the person I am today and while maybe not everyone would agree, I think I turned out okay.
So if you want to bear witness to this new creative outlet that is surely going to result in me getting an ear-full from Doctors or my parents if their eyes every see it, then continue forth and gain not only insight, but learn exactly what not to do if you want to take the easy route with RA, but also realise that no, just because you are maybe a young teen like I was when first diagnosed, or maybe you're a little more mainstream and middle-aged, there is not only light at the end of the tunnel, but more than likely, a more interesting character too,because, let's face it, I have to have some identifier and if not RA, then I gotta make something else about me even more interesting.
